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Negative...

Durty

Shared on Sat, 04/25/2009 - 15:52

How do you deal with a negative child? My youngest son (10) is a great kid...when he is alone. Whenever any other children are around he becomes the most negative, hateful, argumentative and ungrateful child I've ever met. For instance: The other three boys will decide on a movie or game to watch or play together...he gets pissed off, yells at them, tells them he won't watch it...and then gets upset and cries 'because everyone hates him'. Today we went to a pet store, on the way there he got pissy asking why we always have to go to the pet store and then decided he was going to stay in the car. I'm sick of all of his other crap from today so I tell him if that is his choice he is to stay in the car with the doors locked and not come in unless someone tries to kidnap him. We come back out after 20 minutes or so and he starts crying and yelling that we hate him and that no one wants him to have fun...blah blah blah.

Seriously, it's driving me crazy and I have no idea where he gets this shit from. Any ideas on good ways to deal with him? I've tried talking, grounding, even spanking...nothing. I am about at my wits end with him...he makes every single moment I get with them absolutely miserable because of his attitude.

Comments

RWRealm's picture
Submitted by RWRealm on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 18:23
Azure makes good points. There could be other problems as well. Does his father tend to pay more attention to him when he has him? In other words, does his dad do whatever the child wants because the father doesn't spend as much time with him? Also, what is his social life like at school? You may think you know what it's like, but what do his teachers and faculty say? Could be a couple of things in his social network. He could be wildly popular and everyone does what he wants to do. At home this isn't the case and it pisses him off. Or it could be the opposite, no one does what he wants while at school and it carries over at home. You also mentioned that he's your youngest. How much younger is he?
pearly_54's picture
Submitted by pearly_54 on Sat, 04/25/2009 - 15:56
ooooo, and I get to meet him tomorrow? I have no advice except perhaps zero tolerance. That is extremely hard, harder on the parent than the kid, anyways. Wish you luck!!
moesley's picture
Submitted by moesley on Sat, 04/25/2009 - 15:57
it's negative attention seeking behavior, and i'd probably look into seeing a child counselor. it's not a major problem, but it's not something you're probably going to be able to "manage/fix" on your own.
Durty's picture
Submitted by Durty on Sat, 04/25/2009 - 15:57
Nope...you don't have to, lol :) Tomorrow is his dad's day to deal with him....they do church and all that stuff that I don't do, lol.
VenomRudman's picture
Submitted by VenomRudman on Sat, 04/25/2009 - 16:42
Get him to a therapist. It's only going to get worse the longer you let it go and then puberty will hit....
TANK's picture
Submitted by TANK on Sat, 04/25/2009 - 18:33
It just kind of sounds like he always wants to have his way, or have his choice be the thing chosen to do/see/play etc. He's the youngest so he probably feels like he has to compete hard for everything he wants whether or not that's actually the case. Maybe one in every 4 times when it's a family thing to do ask what his choice is and that's what you do/see/play. Then when it's not his turn, explain to him that in life you don't always get your way, the other siblings also get to choose the family time things and if it's not something he wants to do, he still must participate because that is what families do. If this causes him issue, exclude him from the activity but maybe he can't do anything while that actiivty is going on, he has to sit and look at a wall and not disturb anyone during the activity. ANyway not sure if that'll work but it just sounds like typical youngest fighting for attention stuff.
Azuredreams's picture
Submitted by Azuredreams on Sat, 04/25/2009 - 20:03
First off, whatever you do, do NOT send this kid to a therapist. There is nothing wrong with this child that some consistent discipline can't fix. This problem is quite common with children who are split between two homes. Simply discipline him when he gets out of line, and make sure to point out when he's doing well and it will work itself out fine. You have to choose a particular course of action and stick with it however. If you threaten to do something, you must follow it through. Also you must make sure that the father is doing the same, or you might as well cash in the chips now. Both of you need to handle this problem as a team. Forget all this time out/therapist bullshit and tan his ass when he's bad. Period, end of story.
redfive's picture
Submitted by redfive on Tue, 04/28/2009 - 11:56
hang him up by his ankles and beat him with bamboo poles. s'what my folks did to me and i turned out just fine. *twitch*
Azuredreams's picture
Submitted by Azuredreams on Sat, 04/25/2009 - 20:05
Oh, I forgot to mention this in my last comment. He's a kid, he has no choice in the matter. If you're going to the pet store then you're going to the pet store and he will go and like it. If he throws a fit in the store, you whoop his ass all the way home. Sooner or later it will get across, that he's to do what he's told when he's told to do it.
Gatsu's picture
Submitted by Gatsu on Sat, 04/25/2009 - 23:27
Gotta go with Azure on this one. A therapist will probably only do more harm than good. Steady discipline will work. but it could take time. So you've gotta be patient and steady with it.

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