Noisy kid...

My oldest son is snoring so loudly, I could hear it while I was showering.  Geez!  If my camera had batteries I'd totally go take a video for him to torture him with it later.  :D

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I'm assuming that most of you being men wonder from time to time, "What in the hell does she want from me?!"...okay probably more than occasionally, especially if you've not been getting any for a while, or you've been fighting with the woman because you can't figure her out.  You do know it's all your fault, right?  Anyways...this is thanks to my mother, queen of forwarded emails. 

So...50 things that (most) women wish you knew:

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift. 

3. I will leave if you lie.  (***Stupid lies, little lies, big lies...I hate lies!!!)

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).  (***I don't know what that is...)

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.  (***Mmmmmhmmmm)

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.   (***Personally, I'm terrified of becoming my mother because I don't respect her at all)

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a.) ...having a fat day. b.) ...not feeling "connected" to you. c.) ...blackmailing you to get something I want.  (*** #1 I'm asleep and you can't wake me up  #2..There is no number two)

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not. 

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.  (***If they are Hanes brand, you do not...you look like a bum, do not wear when we go out!)

23. You should never tell me what to do.  (***Forbidding = I am so going to do it, just watch me!)

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.  (***ummm, no I don't)

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby. 

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....  (***I'd tell you...and then you better step up!)

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.  (***This only applies for a short time, afterward you must go shower...please!!)

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas. 

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.  (***I like erotica and pics...porn makes me laugh most of the time.)

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.  (***Yes, PLEASE!!!)

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.  (***Told you guys it was your fault :wink:  )

*** = Edits by Durty. 

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'Tis time for 3 hours sleep now, so I leave you with these:

.....And Good Night!

~Durty