Stuff and etc.

We've had a very busy couple of weeks so I just haven't had the time, energy or inclination to blog, play games or even think about doing anything other than the following:

We are closing on our first home purchase Friday morning...so super excited it's insane. It's a four bedroom, two bath, 17 year old home...twice the size of what we are renting now and our mortgage payments are only $80 more a month than our rent (with insurance and taxes). So..w00t! We went and put new locks on tonight because the owners asked us to, we were going to do it anyways when we moved in but the people who just moved out (they were renting) kept the keys and wouldn't return them. So...now we have the keys to our new home and no one else in the world does...no handymen, no landlord, NO ONE! Yeah, still excited. The only thing I'm NOT excited about is the actual moving part. I hate moving....packing, unpacking, cleaning, more cleaning, painting, minor repairs....it all just sucks! But....we got the house!! w00t!

The wedding is dated for sometime in April but plans have been put on the back burner for the time being....need to get so much else done that I just don't have any left over time to make any plans. I do have a couple of bridal shows I am attending in the next month...should give me lots of ideas and hopefully I'll win stuff. :D

That part of our lives is going just fantastic....but as for one of the most important things in my life....I just want to sit down and cry.

Please keep my boy Jordan (he's 11) in your thoughts. I don't ask for this stuff much, but this time it's important. Last Thursday he had, what I can only describe or think of as, a seizure....not grand mal, but still a seizure from everything I've read and seen with epileptic friends. He was helping me prepare dinner and was peeling potatoes, he started complaining that his neck, shoulders and arms were hurting and then slumped over the counter. I thought he was being bratty because he didn't want to help...so I told him to straighten up and look at me. He didn't and I took his shoulder and turned him towards me. His face was ashen and his lips were completely grey. I kind of yelled and asked if he was okay and he just started screaming. He cried that he couldn't see me, couldn't hear anything....his muscles were slack and I pull him into the living room where he just collapsed on the floor because he couldn't hold his own weight up and cried for the next thirty seconds that he couldn't see, hear, couldn't move and that his stomach was 'bubbling'. It was over in a matter of minutes and then he had a headache and was kind of sleepy for the rest of the night. I called his doctor and she scheduled an appointment for him for the following Monday and instructed that if it, or anything similar, happened again that he be taken immediately to the ER, of course.

My ex took him to the Dr on Monday and all they found was his blood sugar was too high because they didn't do anything but a damn glucose test or what the hell ever that is. They scheduled him for an MRI, further blood sugar tests and a neurological study of some sort for the rest of this week. Unfortunately, then they ran his insurance (my ex's deal) and it was denied so they have refused to do anything further until the issue is resolved. I am freaking out just a tad....I want him to be okay, but if we can't get the tests done we can't find out what happened or why it happened and we can't fix it. We almost lost him when he was born 10 weeks early and it would just kill me for something to happen now all because the stupid insurance company is being a piece of shit. I just don't know what to do but if things don't get figured out by Friday afternoon there is going to be one fucking pissed off Mommy in the ER  demanding that he be seen and tested for whatever they can think of to test him for. I don't know what else to do. I don't trust these damn people anymore and all of my Mom instincts tell me that he needs things to be checked out extensively. He's had headaches for over a year, they thought he needed glasses, but his eyesight is perfect. He complains about his neck hurting him all the time and they have attributed it to a very slight curvature of the spine. He goes to one of the so called best pediatricians in the city and she is a complete fucking idiot if this she has been ignoring symptoms of something worse. I don't know. I DONT KNOW!! What's a Mommy to do when all she wants to do is protect her child and make sure that everything is okay? I am not a Dr...I take most of what they tell me as the truth and don't worry about the things they tell me not to worry about....but it seems like there has been some things that I should have been worrying about. I just want to cry. I want to make everything okay and I can't and I don't like this feeling, I don't like it at all. Please, please, please...keep him in your thoughts....and me too, I think I'm going crazy.