For a change of pace...

... today I shall rant about the irritation that plagues me on an ever-increasing basis: the cell phone user in public. Ok we all have phones (fine, 99% for you cave people) and we use them everywhere. I LOVE using mine as a nearly impenetrable isolation bubble. I'm alone in a crowd instantly, and for that alone it's worth having. I freely admit I play Angry Birds more frequently than is probably recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors, and owing to my near meltdown when my phone took a swim, I can see where I might be labeled "addicted". Fine. However there's one hard and fast rule I refuse to break- talking on my phone whilst in line to pay for something.

Firstly, my conversations aren't so secret that they can't be overheard by others in line but it's none their damn business. I ALWAYS pass judgment on overheard conversations, mostly because I'm a vile bitch and can't help but snigger at someone who openly discusses their vaginal warts. I just know they'd be passing silent judgment on me and I think I give them enough ammo as it is without the phone.
Secondly, I find it SO rude to actually go through the check out line gabbing away when the cashier, who has probably been slaving away at minimum wage for 3 hrs already by the time you woke up, is mumbling a greeting, asking your bagging preference, sorting through your disorganized pile of coupons, half of which are expired or require another 2 items from opposite ends of the store, and showing you how much you saved while peddling the $1 donation offer to the cancer of the week. That guy doesn't want to say all that crap any more than you want to hear it but regardless of your very important conversation, he has to say it anyway. I would be SO tempted to slip in something like "Ok, you saved $18 on your groceries today Mrs. Windbag, would you like any carry out for your douche today?" To ignore someone who is doing you the service of sorting your meats from feminine products and stacking your bread on top of your cans, rather than the other way around, is appallingly rude.
Third: people talking on cell phones in line rarely have a sense of personal space, I have noticed. Example: today I was shopping and when I reached the checkout, a woman joined the line just behind me. She had only a handful of items and was happily chatting away with her friend about how her new daughter-in-law is simply not going to be welcomed in their house because she just doesn't understand the proper decorum their family is accustomed to. She listened to whatever was being said on the other line, and she so coldly said, "Well, we'll just have to cut her out. My son will understand."  (!!!!!!!!!!) Anyway, as I had concluded my purchases, I was putting the change into my wallet, fitting my wallet back into my purse when the talky woman all but stood on my feet. She scooted in WAY too close to be called polite, ignored me entirely and continued her conversation while the cashier rang her up. I was reaching for my groceries and actually had to reach in front of her- she didn't move an inch, so I said "Madam!" She glanced at me and went back to talking. I reached over her anyway, bumped her slightly and said "Gimme some room, lady!" She gave me an awful look, but the bagger started snickering (I almost hugged her). I'm just appalled that people forget that their personal isolation bubble only works when the "talk" part of the phone's function isn't engaged. You're not invisible, you're not on mute to the world, and you're not aware that everyone knows it. I'm not polite enough to ignore social infractions like that. >:)