Wedding Weekend

erinroxyfox

Shared on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 09:50

I didn't think my cousin wanted me at her wedding when my sister, brother and parents all received invitations and I didn't. My mom thought to call my aunt and ask if I was invited or not (which I really wish she hadn't done) so of course about a week later my invitation arrived. My mom said my aunt had sent it to the wrong address (which is BS because the postal service forwards mail for a full year after you move, by request of course) and since it was probably lost they just would mail me a new one. (MMmmmmmhm. Yeah.) First, I'm not in the family's good graces because I'm a) fairly anti-social around them, b) detest being touched by people, including hugs but ESPECIALLY my creepy cousin's shoulder massages- ick ick ick!, c) drink too much for their taste (actually not so much anymore) and d) am non-relgious and not too shy about it.These people are UBER religious, like zealot-level (IMO). My brother thinks they're a little weird too, and thought it was crap I hadn't gotten a real invitation, so he offered for me to go as his guest, since his wife is traveling this week and wouldn't make it. I said no, if I'm not invited I'm not going, and that's one less present I have to buy. But since I got the invitation after all (since my mom had to interfere) I thought I had better go to it. My invitation didn't include a Plus One situation- didn't say Erin and Matt or Erin and Guest, so I was a little hurt by that. I decided to bring him anyway, because if my sister in law was going to be gone then they'd still anticipate one more body there, so it would balance out.

My parents and brother and sister and I all went in on a gift together- gold silverware. I think this is a crap gift. Who uses gold utensils, except royalty and foreign dignitaries? (ANd let me tell you, my cousin is not the fancy shmancy type either). I complained about this gift and so did my sister in law (the one time I agree with her one something- it was kinda nice), but my dad said it's a family tradition. Channeling Veruca Salt, I practically shout into the phone "I didn't get any at MY wedding!" and he says "Oh....hm. Well anyway, want to get some for Molly??" I called my brother and sister, and of course both of them got gold silverware at their weddings... I'm feeling very spoiled and petulant yet wronged at the same time. Frankly I have no use for that kind of stuff. Neither of my siblings have used theirs other than once at Thanksgiving for one, and Christmas for the other. After awhile I decided I was being a brat and was glad I didn't have it taking up space, but still felt slightly wronged that I was left out. (Again, channeling Veruca.)

So Matt and I get all dressed up- I wore a white sundress with black lace embroidery and a wide red belt, skyscraper white heels with a black fish-scale pattern, carried a matching clutch (the shoes and matching clutch are the ones I scored on my last trip to London- I love them!), and did my hair and makeup nicely so I looked like a million bucks. We arrived at the wedding, walk into the church and sign the guest book. I thought it was really funny that the entry just above ours was another Erin & Matt couple. Weird. Anyway, in those shoes I'm 6' tall, and standing next to Matt I think we looked good. I like the power that inherently comes from being taller than those around you. My family is on the short side, so we sailed through the crowd about a head taller than others in general. :) I said hello to as few people as necessary, introduced Matt to those he hadn't met before who I couldn't avoid talking to, and then we walked into the church to be seated.

It was the weirdest set-up for a wedding as I've ever seen, but a really cool idea. Instead of pews or rows of chairs in the chapel they had set up tables and chairs, flatware, etc., like dinner theatre! The (canned) wedding music began and the whole shebang started. Since Matt and I don't participate in religion, we knew we were going to be slightly uncomfortable for part of the ceremony, but when the preacher brought out the fire & brimstone part, we were scared. LOL, not really, but MAN ALIVE it was some weird stuff!! The preacher said something like "When his flesh was ripped from his body, and his blood gushed out of his veins...." etc. Was it a wedding address/blessing or was it a sermon? (I voted sermon and so did everyone else at my table, because I was crass enough to ask.) So hellfire & punishment aside, the wedding went on and they said their I Do's and got it all done. I'd never met Molly's fiancee before, and from the furthest back corner of them room (where Matt and I were seated) he looked ok to me. So they walked out to do pics while the rest of us got some barbeque (what an odd choice for a wedding, but DAMN it was the best BBQ I think I've ever eaten!) and chatted a bit. When the bride n groom came back to the party they made the rounds to the tables and said hello, etc. When she came to my table I stood up and gave my cousin a hug, said her dress was beautiful (not what I would have chosen but still nice, and that's just what you say at a wedding), and she looked at me as though she was really surprised to see me. I introduced her to Matt, and introduced myself to her new husband, who upon closer inspection looked suspiciously homosexual. I'm so totally not bashing homosexuals at all, just saying he threw off the vibe to me, and as someone who hangs out with a lot of gay people every Wednesday night during symphony season, I thnk I'm getting more adept at recognizing a gay when I see one. Matt and I walked out into the hallway later and the first thing he said to me was, didn't he seem at little...um...homosexual to you? So it's not just me who thought it!! Matt remarked that the wedding night sure would be interesting. Here's another thing that creeped me out about this whole wedding thing- my cousin is a 33 year old virgin, by choice. I'm guessing her husband was too, and I strongly suspect that he's gay and because of his super religious background, he feels he can't act on it and thought he may as well make a good show of it and get married. I am really hoping that's not at all the case, and that they're just happy with each other and all is well. I mean she's my favorite cousin, and I want good things for her, so believe me, I'm not inviting drama to their lives. What kinda stung most about the invitation scenario is that Molly has always been my favorite cousin, we hung out together every time I'd go to California growing up, and she was my second bridesmaid at my wedding. I don't get an invitation?! So when Matt and I greeted her at the wedding, she looked surprised we were there and didn't seem at all pleased that we had come. Matt mentioned it to me in the car later, asking if she was always kinda standoffish or was this unusual. She's actually really sweet, friendly to a fault and never reticent to say hello, give you a hug, etc. Not this time. So I think I finally managed to alienate myself from my family (which I have to say I've been doing on purpose for many years- I just really don't fit in with them and don't have much of a desire to- I'm definitely the black sheep), and because my mom meddled, I was thrown back into it all.

In any case, Matt and I had a great time together, despite the weirdness of the wedding, and then we saw the latest Harry Potter movie, which I thought was wonderful. :) Then we went home and played some xbox. Oh I got a new game- Bastion. It's odd, but I like it. The narrator is the best part, surprisingly. It's a RPG with a laid back approach to a fighting game. I'm liking it a lot actually. I'm always such a fan of arcade games, and I've decided to stop fighting it and be glad that they're cheaper than the big games. Although I'm already salivating at BioShock's next installment. :) One more year!

Travel plans: Matt and I are heading up to Colorado sometime next week, once we decide when we want to go. It's too late to buy airline tickets at a good price, so we're driving (ugh- 16 hours each way). I'm actually trying to convince him to wait until September when it's cooler and prettier, and we can book tickets in advance to fly. I just refuse to pay $350 for a flight that's normally $189. If we dont do Colorado next week we may go to Atlanta instead (still driving, but it's a shorter distance by 4 hours) and see the Coca Cola factory and Georgia Aquarium. I went 4 or 5 years ago and it was just wonderful! Can't wait to go back.  Only 3 weeks of summer vacation left! I feel time slipping through my fingers. Better go lay out at the pool now and take advantage of it.  :)

Comments

JohnnyHustler's picture
Submitted by JohnnyHustler on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 10:45
"When his flesh was ripped from his body, and his blood gushed out of his veins...." Wow...I know my Bible pretty well, and have yet to see anything like this. Did he quote from the Book of Krueger?
IAmTheLiquor's picture
Submitted by IAmTheLiquor on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 13:49
rofl @ johnny
erinroxyfox's picture
Submitted by erinroxyfox on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 14:13
I know, right?! Creeped me the eff out.
JohnnyHustler's picture
Submitted by JohnnyHustler on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 16:58
I should probably leave it at my smart assed comment, because when it comes to the bastardization of Christianity...well, I could easily find out what the limit is on characters for a comment.
erinroxyfox's picture
Submitted by erinroxyfox on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 17:34
Totally not joking about that quote either. I heard it, and I wasn't the only person in that room whose eyebrows did an instant push-up.
SoupNazzi's picture
Submitted by SoupNazzi on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 18:53
I'm surprised he didn't pull out the snakes and start passing them around they way you are describing it. :)
erinroxyfox's picture
Submitted by erinroxyfox on Tue, 07/26/2011 - 22:50
ROFL!! If they'd have had any loose chickens on hand I'm sure blood would've been spilled too.

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