Of a lesser God.

Many of you fellow old people are or have been married.  I haven't been in a relationship that is worth the word.  I think other than being an unloveable bastard, this is for a very specific reason, and many lesser ones.

I always felt very mature, not adult mature, rather lesser god mature.  I certainly am no adult, and childishness can be godliness.  I unfortunately tricked myself through most of my elementary / high schooling to avoid the fragile hollow silly shells of relationships that people around me bothered themselves with.   I believed in romance, but romance as I mistakenly presumed was not based on pure love.

What is love?  Jacques Derrida a recent but deceased philosopher suggested that there is the who and the what that exist about love.  If you love the what that your other does or possesses ( kind, smart, hot, cute ) then do you love the person when that changes?  If you love the person without consideration of their traits, you would not leave them if they abused or humiliated you.  Even if they did you wrong in the second instance you would love them the same ammount all the time.

The next logical step is to suggest that there is a balance between the two kinds of love, but if there is this slipping in and slipping out of love in even the slightest manner, it proves to me that it runs independant of marriage.  Marriage is eternal and binding, that form of love is rare, and when I say rare, I mean unhealthy.

Bottom line is that marriage flys in the face of precision, it is among many things a debtor and socialist structure that keeps those set family units focused on the stability and success of the governing bodies.

I should go on, there are those who say it is impossible to know the "other," those who say that the only way to bind two people is to pit them against another group of people or idea (which is really just another group of people.)  It is a form of banding together in order to live more comfortably, so we are all patrons to our own hospice care.

Remember that your marriage creates many out-groups, and I don't specifically mean homosexuals.

And I may be too scared to go out and find the real love that someone may have, I am infact scared, but it doesn't mean that my logical precision has faulted me, maybe rather it has saved me the trouble.