Beat up by a baby

(Side note before I begin: I still, out of principle, haven't hooked up the PS3 with the composite video output. If I'm in, I'm all in. Let's see if I can wait the few more days for some cables to arrive from Hong Kong!)

So here's the scene that all the bargain-hunters at Circuit City got to observe at about 4:30 this afternoon.

I'm standing in the middle of the DVD's/games section. In my right hand, I'm holding my cell phone to my ear. My left arm is holding my 17-month-old. I can't put him down in a retail store because he will laugh hysterically while running full speed across the store - not a chance I'm willing to take in a store that is literally being disassembled.

So the kid tried grabbing the phone a couple of times, tugged on my left ear a couple of times, and tried to grab my lower lip. I successfully dodged him and didn't react.

Out of nowhere, CRACK. He headbutts my right cheekbone with about 5 times the force you would imagine a one year old is capable of producing with just his neck muscles. The combination surprise and dull pain caused me to drop the phone and make the split second decision not to scream obscenities about 4 feet from the remaining Nintendo DS Hannah Montana games. I let out what, in retrospect, I believe was a cross between a yelp and a "GAH!" just as the back of the phone split off and sent the battery flying across the floor.

This knee-jerk reaction, of course, sent him into a giggle fit as I'm hunting around for the battery cover of my phone. At this point I'm on red alert - my spider sense kicks in as I dodge another flying forehead attack. I put my hand up and grab his forehead and tell him no - apparently it's only getting funnier at this point. Not only is he laughing even harder, but a middle-aged overweight woman and a teenager both figured out what was going on and chuckled a bit.

And the worst part of the whole thing? They had about 3 games left for the PS3, 5 or 6 games left for the 360, and they all fucking sucked.