"I don't have kids."

I just wanted to get that out of the way. Make it official. Say it while I can still say it.

I don't have any kids. Yet.

One week from tomorrow is the wife's due date. I also have a somewhat important meeting with a client on Thursday, and the house still needs some work before we start entertaining guests. So naturally, "immediately" would be the most logical time for the baby to pop out. Before I have to wow a client, before all the wiring is cleaned up and while the first floor of my house is still permeated by the distinct scent of new paint.

Just this weekend, I'm sleeping in simply because I can. And also because every morning that I am able to sleep past 6:30 I realize that it may be the last morning I will ever sleep past 6:30. So at around 6:45, 7 if I was lucky, my wife dropped a pillow on my face. It wasn't intentional - I think she thought it was Friday and I had already gone into the shower or downstairs - but the first thought that came to mind was that she was waking me up to tell me that the baby was about to force his way into the world, screaming and surgically removing my social life.

Every time I hear my "Spider Pig" ring tone, I think it's "the call." In fact whenever there is a commercial for the Simpsons Movie on TV and I hear Homer singing Spider Pig, my mind immediately goes to "holy crap within 24 hours I am going to have an extra 8 pounds of responsibility to deal with" mode.

So for right now, I'm on edge, anxious, nervously awaiting that call. I figured I'd pass the time by writing my first ever blog and officially stating that as of right now, 3:04 PM Monday, August 13, I don't have any kids.