I am endlessly entertained by stupidity.

If I didn't laugh and try to see the bright side of everything that upsets me I probably would have had a nervous breakdown years ago. For instance, this whole recent break-up I had is becoming funnier with each passing day. Of course, at the time it happened I was upset, but as I've become older, wiser and more cynical I have found the initial sting isn't too bad anymore and the recovery is quicker. I am becoming the Wolverine of break-ups.

I was broken up with by a person that ditched me for the following things in the past few months:

Event: Thanksgiving. We agreed to do our own family thing and meet up in the late afternoon.

Excuse: I called around 3, No answer. She called back at 8:30, "sorry I fell aleep"

My reply: Turkey can do that, I hope you had a great day.

Event: My friend's wedding on a Sunday in November.

She had drank til 5 in the morning on Friday night afterwork (Even when she was telling me she wasn't feeling well.) Hungover all day Saturday but still insisting she is really sick also , she texted me this when she was back at work Saturday night. Bartender if you are wondering.)

Excuse: I left a message Saturday night on her phone asking her "PLEASE let me know by noon if you are going to go to the wedding. If you aren't feeling well, I understand but you have to let me know by NOON so I can take my cousin Becky to fill the seat." I didn't get a call. I had to call her at 12:45 at the insistance of my sister who wanted to know what the hell we were going to do. She called me back crying saying she was too sick. I said "Oh, sorry I hope you feel better." In the 2 hours I had to get ready from her finally letting me know, I ran to the store, got flowers, chicken soup and her favorite peanut M&Ms drove 25 minutes, stayed with her for 15 minutes, fed her the soup. Left, drove home 25 minutes and managed to get showered and changed and out the door.

My reply: To my sister who is saying "WTF is her problem??? she couldn't call you back when you asked??? She's f-ing with you." I said, "She's just sick, it's ok"

Event: Christmas. If you read Thanksgiving, it was nearly the same thing. I called and didn't get a response until almost 9. As a matter of fact when she asked what I wanted for Christmas I said "I just wanted to spend time with you" Corny, yes. But I'm not a big gift receiver guy. I usually just buy what I want, which isn't much.

My reply: (She does volunteer ambulance work in my town, 1 mile from here, twice a week) Before you go do the ambulance why don't you stop by and we can exchange gifts, it would be great to see you.

...

We didn't exchange gifts until January 6.

Not to mention when I moved in December she didn't offer to help once. My sisters, cousins and friends all helped. Oh, and she had a LOT of stuff at my old place which WE moved.

Well, Valentines rolled around. Based on previous events I wasn't all too confident. I talked to her on Tuesday. She asked my schedule, I said work all day and I have night school M,T,W. She knew this. I told her back in January a few times. She asked if I could help bring a small fridge to her mother's office on Wednesday. I said no, her mother's office is an hour and change away from where I am working. By the time I got out of work to do that I would never make it back to class on time. Later, that day I offered my services on Thursday. I got no reply. Friday comes, I haven't talked to her. I texted her asking what was going on for the weekend. And that's when the shitstorm started. I was called an idiot for "You know I (her) have school on Thursday. But you're too f-ing thickheaded to remember. You don't pay attention to me and BTW thanks for waiting until the last minute to ask me out"

I replied " I didn't know what the situation was and I was waiting for some money, I wanted to take you out to dinner it's been a while."

She said "Do you need to buy my time? You're a F-ing A-hole. If you knew anything about me you would know I don't go out for Valentine's day"

My reply "So what are you upset about then?"

HAhHAhAHahhahAhah right there is when it became funny to me. I was dumbfounded by her logic. THEN I was dumbfounded at how blind I was for MONTHS!!! I'll admit, I got a knot in my throat when we were done texting all this. YES, the Valentine conversation was all text message. But, I had to laugh. Everything you have just read among other things I was suspicious of  added up quickly in my head. BUT, I don't regret it. It was great lesson in the history of my life. I learned a lot about myself and who I can be in a relationship.

In the end, the real laughter came at the expense of myself. I am the stupid one that allows this stuff to happen to me. I can laugh because playing a victim just isn't funny, it's all about owning up to yourself that is just plain HILARIOUS.

Phew....that was cathartic.