America's Sweethearts

We're a television family, and one of the Murid family's faves is Amazing Race. Not that I would do any better, but really the entertainment in the show comes from watching the racers self-destruct. It's not the thrill of victory and new-found wealth, but watching people you've come to dislike because they are behaving like asses get their comeuppance. At least that's the thrill I get. There's some marginal educational value for the children, like seeing glimpses of different cultures and the proof that any foreigner will understand English as long as it's spoken loudly enough, or with the right accent.

Nobody does affected accents better than Charla and Mirna, and I think they could carry a reality show on their own. Moreover, what finer representatives of the American people are there? Charla falling down in the suit of armor has to be a classic as is Mirna's ridiculous plea to the ninjas on that scaffold, "We are here to make love, not war." They are such a hoot that I started calling my girls Charla and Mirna, and then suggested maybe we would legally change their names. This got me a sharp rebuke from our six-year-old as she left for school the other day.

"Goodbye, Mirna," I called out the door as she stepped into the hall.

She wheeled around, glaring. "My name is not Mirna, and Charlotte [her sister] is not a midget!" she screamed.

I dropped it after that. Not much of a sense of humor that one.