Class room moms = bitches

ok so maybe a few of you "class moms" dont suck much but its in you...

I work full time... I have raised 3 girls.... when my 5 year old is in class for those 3 hours I party!!!! on the inside of course because im at work but i get No "MOMMMMM" " I wanna a snack" " Come wipe me"" "Im bored" the list goes on.  So when I hear the roar of the bus engine in the morning I do a jig!  Does that make me a bad mom HELL no it makes me an honest mom!

So school started in August so its been several months, I get a call from the teacher to let me know we are having a function to come. Little did I know what was about to happen~

I go a bunch of moms talking laughing and other wise appearing to be the best of friends,  They catch me in their sights and approach like a pack of fukn wolves,

"OHHHHH you must be Ava's Mom" we didnt think you even existed"   I look around like this has to be a joke right Whos says That shit? " we wondered what you did that was so important that you wouldn't come be a class mom for anything" We are blessed to come help with these children, If i missed little adams kindergarten years I would be devasted"

So I listen to each mother go on about how I am a evil 2 headed monster that I somehow don't make time to volunter  NOW if a mother said to me you know your a rancid bitch I would have been ok... But these "women" a term I use loosley  where rather indignant, stood on their soap box and was down right Nice as they made sure to put me in my place..

So i sat alone and pondered what they thought... Am I really missing out ??? AWW fuck the guilt sliding in... I walk  up to the sign up sheet and put my name down.... I look over and the pack had this gratifying look on their faces.

So my day comes I take off work, I get enough coffee in me so im clear headed and I dont beat a kid.... I get there thinking ok Story time... Craftsss..... Recess..... um NO I was the teachers Bitch, making photo copies and running to offices and  really nothing at all to do with the kids... So i go up and say hey I typically get paid for this shit.... I need some kid interaction or im OUT.~  so she in her evil mind has me test the kids on their reading level... But stupid me thinks it will be fun.

Kid # 1 = " YOUR FAT"

kid # 2 = Snot on my arm from a non-guarded sneeze

kid # 3 = Your STUPID

Kid # 4 = Just stares at me.

Kid # 5= Normal.... going good... till~ Are you Ava's mom... Yes I am why?? .... My mom thinks your not nice .

OHHH SHITTTT its on.  Oh shes about to meet not nice.

So i finish my  test thingy with the kids and mind you 20 out of 24 kids cant read for shit?? is that an option i can write down?

This week another gathering for the kids to which the parents are going to be there!!! I thought of many things to do and say that would wound them!!! scar for life type shit but instead:::........

I walked into the classroom with 2 dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts to which the kids came running and hugging and screaming!!!!

I looked over and said took 10 mins and 12$ dollars and whos the greatest now bitch's YES i did really say that.. for those who know me can see this !!!!!

I talk to Ava a bit and say hun do you want mom to volunteer in your classroom to which she replies.. UMMM nOOO I need a time out from you.

LMAO enough said!