Ad slogans

Just more ranting here, move along....

So, every night as I drive home I see a billboard with a dude with a 'rocket pack' zooming off. But it's not a 'rocket pack' it's two big canisters of Quaker Oats. Ok, that's cool.

Then there is the slogan. I want to know how I can get paid to come up with crap like - "Go humans go." Seriously, did they use some sort of word jumbling algorithm or what? Are aliens telling me to go somewhere? Where I am I supposed to go?

Then there is the GM for the Mariners telling me, on the radio, that he is going to put a 'product' on the field that the fans can be proud of. What kind of product? Scott's Turf Builder? Elephant droppings from the zoo? Green dye for a nice looking field? No, I'm pretty sure the 'product' he is referring to is the Major League Baseball team that is also known as The Mariners. Product? Some times I feel like I'm living straight out of They Live, or THX 1138. Mindless consumer reporting for duty! Tell me where to slide the plastic!

For fucks sake! The team isn't a product, it's a FUCKING TEAM! They are NOT a commodity, they are an asset! They are not a fucking product, they are human beings damn it! Not everyone can play pro sports, and the GM is treating them like they can just go down to the park and pick up a bunch of players playing pick up and put them on the field at the stadium.

It's almost as bad as when I moved and filled out the change of address form at work. Didn't need my facility, or job site or anything like that. No, the blank to be filled in was Profit Center#. Profit Center? What corporate fuckwit came up with this, and how cute did they think it was? All they should have needed was my employee number and new info, but no - fucking Profit Center.

Back in the eighties, I think there was more fear over corporate domination than the Soviets dropping the big one. Then the corporate fear disappeared(or subsided substantially), along with the USSR, and everything was super and beige! Now companies are consolidating, and corporations are getting bailed out for being criminals...

Maybe it's time for more corporate dystopia!

SC