Seventeenth

I have a lot on my mind just now - we have an appointment with our solicitor this evening, and I'm trying not to think about it by blogging, so be kind when you read this.

I've been trying to think of something worthy, meaningful and (hopefully) thought-provoking to say about my recent obsession with Medieval Total War 2 (MTW2 from now on) but to be honest, I think I've been coming up dry. Well, the lack of thought-provoking text has never stopped me putting pen to paper before now, and it's not about to stop me now.

I've never considered myself to have an addictive or obsessive personality; it's rare for me to feel the compulsion to do something, go somewhere, eat something, so my recent compulsion to sit for hours at a time in front of MTW2 surprised and worried me. Don't get me wrong, I have of course stayed up in to the wee small hours playing games; I once took part in a 24-hour 'Playstation-athon'; but only where the game has gripped me in some way and I've desperately wanted to stay up with it, or where I've stayed up with a group of friends through the night, like when my cousin and I played through the first Halo on co-op in a single evening.

This time was different. Now, I love the Total War series. I still go back and play Shogun Total War frequently, and it has forever warped my mental landscape so that, where my girlfriend will see beautiful sweeping vistas with serene hillocks and dark, mysterious woods, I will see raised terrain perfect for archers, wide open spaces for manoeuvring cavalry, and wooded areas perfect for hiding elite skirmishers. I'll blink, relax, and see the beauty that normal people see, then chill out and appreciate it for what it is, but still, the tactical and strategic possibilities are still there, hovering behind my eyes somewhere.

I'm getting off-topic again. Sorry about that. The Grand Campaign in MTW2 took me the best part of two weeks to complete, which includes two Saturdays where I was able to play, undisturbed, for around 5/6 hours, and I did enjoy it for the most part. As with any project that takes a long time to complete, my interest started to wane sometime after the end of the first week. I realise a fortnight is not a 'long' time by any stretch of the imagination, but if you've played any of the Total War games, you'll be able to comprehend exactly how much effort goes into extended campaigns against multiple enemies, and the amount of mental juggling involved in planning them. At least for me, I thrive on the strategic map, crafting multiple, 'combined arms' forces and building a network of spies, assassins and a web of Machiavellian-like alliances. I'm happy only when I'm having to plot how to ship troops and resources to two and three different campaign armies, while laying the foundations for the support structures I'll need in ten or fifteen turns' time. I'm hardly useless on the battle map, but my grasp of tactics is nowhere near as complete as my grasp of the strategic side of things.

Damn. I digress once more. I'll try to stay on-topic this time.

Towards the end, I was compelled forwards, pushing through the latter stages of the campaign with a cavalier disregard for the intricately balanced network of cities and castles I had begun with. I was no longer concerned with winning, but only with finishing - does that make sense to you?
I think I mentioned before that I complained to my girlfriend that I didn't want to play MTW on more than one occasion, but I knew that if I didn't, I'd simply spend the rest of the night thinking about it, seeing the map screens behind my eyelids every time I blinked.

In the end, of course, I won, by which I mean I finished. I felt a sense of relief, satisfaction that my work was done, but little else. Although I do love the game, and I will no doubt go back and start playing it again in time, it wasn't really my love of the game that pulled me on at the end, which made me sad.

Damn it, I'd hoped that I'd come to some sort of concise point through the simple act of writing, but it appears I have failed. Never mind, it's hardly the end of the world.