Looking for a job is depressing...

Probably one of the most depressing things a person can do. Its seems I am hounted by the Goldylocks syndrome everywhere I go, your either too qualified or not qualified enough. I worked in Restaurants for over 10 years doing everything from waiting table to bartending to management. What does that qualify me for? Nothing! Putting management on your resume in the restaraunt industry means one thing. You sir are over-qualified to wait tables and bartend. Just because I worked in a 10 million dollar a years restaurant in San Francisco doesn't mean I can't work in a one million dollar a year store in Fresno.... but it does. People feel threatened if it may seem like you know more than them, which I probably don't. No one wants to hire someone who is going to try to be their replacement... which I won't try to be.

So , I try to step out of the realm I know best and happily move on to something else... but you have no experience is what I get. So, I get my foot in at an Indian Gaming Casino around town here as a bartender and from there move to slots about 9 months later. I wanted to do something different and I networked myself into a position to do it. I work there for a little over a year and I hurt my neck and get fired for absences. No big deal, I get unemployment and can take my time getting a good job. In the town I live in now though its all about who you know. You don't get a job because your qualified, you get a job because you know someone who works there already who is probably sucking the dick of the manager. I don't like getting a job through these channels and honestly I don't know that many people here besides my wife's family who bamboozled us into moving back here when we got married almost three years ago.

So, I have one lead in town to be a teller at a bank. The only way I have gotten to this point is by tucking my balls in between my legs and getting my father-in-laws help. I have tons of cash handling experience. At the casino I would be trusted with thousands of dollars at a time. I have gone to other banks with no luck so here I am trapped like a rat in the cage I have been frustrated by so many times before. Maybe, I am not qualified for the position. Maybe, I am taking a job away from someone else who deserves it more.  

Most place I have worked if I go back to visit they try to give me my job back. I grew up in Connecticut and worked in New Haven at a place called TK's American Cafe just before I moved to CA. They have the best buffalo wings in the world and the best bosses in the world. TK and Suzie were fantastic and evertime I go back to visit I have to stop in as soon as I walk in the door Suzie tries to get me to stay and I always have to turn her down. Everytime I go back to the bar I worked at in Oakland, they offer me my job back. They got a reference letter when I applied at the casino and they called me to ask what to put on it and told me I was always welcome to come back there if it didn't work out.

Well, thats all for me. I sure did pick a shitty time to quit smoking.