Bathroom Etiquette

So, there's like 5 urinals in the men's room at work, and I'm at the far left one the other day when a guy walks in. He proceeds to instantly violate all that I know is true about a Men's room by moving into the area direclty next to me, ignoring the long stretch of gleeming porcelain outside of my direct eyeline. Nope, he saddles up right next to me. While he also proceeded to make "noises" while peeing, and also seemed to have wandering eyes, the crime was the urinal selection.

Guys, a few simple rules:

1) Do not speak - you may say "Hello" if you must, but other than that, remain silent, stare ahead (or down if you need to). Seriously, this includes cell phones (I can't believe I even have to mention it)

2) Do not stand next to another man - observe the "gap rule" at all times. If the gap rule is impossible to adhere to, perhaps it's a good time to go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair until appropriate space opens up. Maybe you can just hold it for another hour.

3) If someone sees you walk away from a urinal, for goodness sakes, go wash your hands. You don't want to bump into them later and extend your hand for a handshake and... you get the idea.

4) No peeking!

5) Don't moan, sigh, or make noise - this is an extension of not speaking. It shouldn't sound like you are taking pleasure in this experience - it's a public restroom for goodness sake, moan in your own place.

The basic rule of thumb is: Get in, get out, don't bother anyone.

Blog by Matthew Tait Lifto