just wondering.

music and words carefully penned by faceless strangers often cooperate together to unlock the distant stirrings underneath my surface self - bridging the gap between real emotion and the projected self.  tonight is yet another night in a long, yet scattered, consistent march towards acknowledgement of those scattered thoughts.  somehow, almost magically, that deadly combination unleashes what i would - most often - call the best of me.  the salient, rational continuation of a thread of thought that i grasp for all the time but only feel once written openly.  it's painfully ironic to realize that these musings can only be captured in the release of all else.  that the striving only completes itself in letting go.

i find myself desiring for that perfection of phrase in normal unaided times, yet can only complete it when it's most useless to me.  for, these very words only serve me once the moment passes anyway.  and then, only when i look back over my shoulder to see what i wrought in those lucid moments of release.

irony.  once again, playing a major role in everyday existence.

i wonder, too, if i should italicize more to lead quiet resolution and reflection to my own ponderings.

don't worry - i know this makes no sense.  but i do get it... tonight, at least.