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Self Heating Hot Chocolate? WTF

tait

Shared on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 12:10

There is something deeply disturbing about a self-heating cup of hot chocolate. I could easily describe how equally disturbing the absolute pull that such a... um, let's call it "unique"... product would have on me, prompting almost instant retrieval and purchasing when I spotted it at Wal-Mart. Giant end-cap of overpriced (considering the volume of usable product), yet strangely intoxicating product.

Here's the scoop: you basically buy an insulated bottle of hot chocolate that claims "Self Heating" in huge capital letters. [Side note: Apparantly, there's a huge need for this in our world. I'll admit, I'm wondering - are there big groups of Americans wandering around their offices with packets of hot chocolate but no attainable hot water? Has placing a pot of regular room temperature water over a heating element whether it be a stove, fire, or radiator (if need be) become too much for us?] You can literally have the item heat up inside its sleeve without ever needing to introduce new elements, or deal with any resulting mess - the entire unit can be thrown away after you drink it. Here's the weirdness: There are some odd instructions and warning labels on this product.

Tait Lifto reads the instructions on his new SELF HEATING Hot Cocoa container

Instructions (this is verbatim and not made up in any way):
STEP 1 - Turn container upside down. Pull off metal, tamper-proof button
STEP 2 - Place on flat surface. With thumb, firmly push button downward until green water drains. After 10 SECONDS, turn container right side up and place on HEAT-PROOF SURFACE.
STEP 3 - This spot changes color from PINK to WHITE (5-8 min) when beverage is hot. After spot is white, twist lid to align opening. Shake, open and enjoy!

Here is my un-asked for commentary - how is a metal button tamper proof if you can just pull it off? Why do you have to use your thumb rather than another digit? Which thumb are you supposed to use, the left one or the right one? Green water?!? - are you freaking kidding me?

As of this moment, I still haven't tried the thing because, well, the instructions are too freaky. Maybe I will at the OMM LAN this weekend. We'll see...

YouTube Video (yeah, I don't know how to embed video - sorry): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAquMQT0Nkg

-Tait Lifto, recruiter specializing in Information Technology in Dallas TX

Comments

tait's picture
Submitted by tait on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 21:39
i'm so glad you finished that with "pin head"
ripend_turmoil's picture
Submitted by ripend_turmoil on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 12:22
Dont drink that shit tait...unless you feel like you need to assume the role of guinea pig. 10-4
CapnHun's picture
Submitted by CapnHun on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 12:27
Green water...ummm...
WallyBR's picture
Submitted by WallyBR on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 12:29
Is that an endothermal or exothermal reaction? I can never keep them straight.
YEM's picture
Submitted by YEM on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 12:37
that thing is huge
aimzb's picture
Submitted by aimzb on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 12:44
How is it tamper proof? You don't want to find out the hard way...
Baine's picture
Submitted by Baine on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 12:53
This is the first time a blog has angered me.
CapnHun's picture
Submitted by CapnHun on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 12:56
Baine - the first time? Where you been?
Eviluncle's picture
Submitted by Eviluncle on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 13:03
Don't they have soup that self heats as well?
dkhodz's picture
Submitted by dkhodz on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 13:28
I think pushing the metal button releases germs that give the hot chocolate a bad fever. If you drink the hot chocolate, you might get chocolate fever, too.
Baine's picture
Submitted by Baine on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 14:12
Choclate Rain.....
JeepChick's picture
Submitted by JeepChick on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 14:16
That is one helluva find. I wonder if they could apply the same concept to other liquid consumables that need to be heated. The Green Water thing is weird though....what is the deal with that?
FatalPoison's picture
Submitted by FatalPoison on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 15:14
Ummmmmm, as soon as I saw the words green water I knew I would never try this....What is, this so called green water anyway?
Mandingo's picture
Submitted by Mandingo on Fri, 04/18/2008 - 11:08
I used this stuff around xmas when I was standing in lines for Wii's to make some extra cash. It doesn't really get more than warm (I'm used to scalding hot coffee though) and it doesn't taste all that great. it is nice to keep your hands warm when it's hailing at 5:30 am though.
tait's picture
Submitted by tait on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 17:32
I have no idea, Fatal - it's what has kept me from "pusing the button", I must say. WTF kind of product heats with green water that isn't on some weird sci fi movie? Freaky. I did a search and just found that they do soups and stuff, too - weird: http://www.sportsmansguide.com/net/cb/cb.aspx?a=293231#. They got Double Shot Latte's and other coffee drinks, but... again, I'd have to return to the Green Water. Here's the official website for the company that produces this... um, "stuff": http://www.hillsidebeverages.com. Products apparantly include: French Vanilla Latte, Mocha Latte, Double Shot Latte, Hazelnut Latte, Green Tea Latte, Chai Tea, Rich Chocolate Hot Cocoa, Rich Chocolate Marshmallows Hot Cocoa, Tomato Vegetable Soup, Classic Chicken Soup. I clicked on the Classic Chicken Soup one to see the nutritional info and it's basically got no nutritional value, but boasts 990mg of Sodium. Wow.
tait's picture
Submitted by tait on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 17:33
Oh, and YEM, it's forced perspective - the hot cocoa was the point of the story so I held it close to my camera phone, so it looks much bigger than my head. :-)
VenomRudman's picture
Submitted by VenomRudman on Tue, 04/08/2008 - 18:43
Either that or you've got a tiny little pin head!

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