Making posts - Killing delicious animals

In an effort to come out of the clan forum and share with all in off topic...I have decided to share a wonderful experience I had this evening.

No, it wasn't a romantic evening with my wife.  It also wasn't a new Minecraft discovery.  It was...delicious smoked pork rinds.

First, a little primer for those of you who said "eeeewwwww."

We all know that Americans love dead pig.  Dead pig is delicious in all of its various forms.  One part that we don't normally consume though is the skin.  Usually the skin is attached to a thick layer of fat.  The fat is rendered off the skin and sold as lard.  What is left is a piece of deep fried skin.

So why waste this? We don't want the pigs sacrifice to be squandered do we? Almost everywhere in the world where they eat pig, these delicious skin bits are served in some fashion.

Now, those of you that said "eeeeeew" at the mention of pork rinds are probably saying "eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww" to me describing it as the fried bits of skin left after rendering lard.

The mere mention conjures up ideas of some grease soaked piece of leather like jerky.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Because the skin has tons of fat in it, when you render all that fat off, what you are left with has very little fat in it.  It isn't chewy, or greasy.  Pork rinds are more like shrimp crackers, or rice cakes for those of you who don't order take out asian food.

Check out this little blurb from Men's Health Magazine, who said pork rinds are the best snack food to indulge in...

A 1-ounce serving contains zero carbohydrates, 17 grams (g) of protein, and 9 g fat. That's nine times the protein and less fat than you'll find in a serving of carb-packed potato chips. Even better, 43 percent of a pork rind's fat is unsaturated, and most of that is oleic acid—the same healthy fat found in olive oil. Another 13 percent of its fat content is stearic acid, a type of saturated fat that's considered harmless, because it doesn't raise cholesterol levels.


Read more: http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/healthy_snacks/Pork_Rinds.php#ixzz23fEpANnN

So, we established what pork rinds are.  We have established that contrary to what people would assume....they are actually good for you!

It has been quite a few years since I have eaten pork rinds.  I was at the grocery store picking up stuff for dinner and I saw some on an end cap.  You don't often see pork rinds in Ohio, but these were the store brand.  Giant Eagle Smoked Pork Rinds.  I picked up a bag and thought I would live a little.

After dinner I retreated to the mancave and was doing some stuff for work.

I heard a tiny voice.  It kept softly calling, a siren song like a flitting Scottish faerie.  "Eat me", the voice called.

I opened the bag and sampled the bouquet.  Taking a deep whiff with my face in the bag I was rewarded with that salty delicious pig flavor.  As the deep earthy tones of bacon permeated my schnozz I was treated to something new...that sharp bite of smoke.  Just like when I first take the lid off the smoker.  Wow! How they hell did they smoke pork rinds?  Was it liquid smoke flavor?

It can't of been added.  Ingredients on the pack made me smile.  "Ingredients: Pork Rinds, Salt"  Maybe they really smoked them?  I can't ponder it.  It's too much.

I reached into the bag and laid my big bear paws on a tiny rind.  As it cleared the bag I marveled at it's ethereal weight. How could something that feels like a styrofoam peanut contain SO much awesomeness?  I inspected the rind I had selected.  It was the color of spun honey, golden and puckered with millions of little jewel like crackles. I smiled as I was greeted with a bonus.  The chip had a slightly discolored pinkish spot on it.

The spot, was not a spot at all. It used to be a really big stamp, affixed in edible dye to the side of the pig, certifying USDA inspection.  When the fat is rendered the skin shrinks incredibly as it becomes the delicious rind.  This was a grade a eatin' pig.

I opened my mouth and gingerly placed the rind on my tongue.  I held it there for a moment, reminded of the communion wafers I received in church as a kid.  THIS however, was sacredelicious.  The rind literally began to melt on my tongue.

With the first crunch I was sent back to my first pork rind.  A burst of explosive pig flavor...like a skyrocket in my head, then the drug like rush of salt...then the surprising bite of the smoke as the rind disintegrated into molecules, then atoms, then some otherwordly non-particle based item of pure, unadulterated awesome.

Forget math as a universal language.  Pop one of these in anyones mouth, regardless of race, country, creed or sexual preference....hell...I think space aliens are included...and they will just look at you and smile while their head nods up and down.

I like these.  I like these like John Travolta likes inappropriate massages.

After two or three more, I feel like I have actually transitioned to a higher consciousness.  It's like my taste buds were having a three way with salty, crunchy, and smokey.  Wait, I guess that would be a four way?

I literally had to bitch slap my right hand with my left to keep it out of the bag.  Once I dusted the drug like salty pig powder off my fingers I knew I had to tell someone about this.

So here I am.  An out of body experience with a dead pig.  AWESOME!

If you have Giant Eagle stores in your area...got get a bag.  NOW.  I will wait.

If you DON'T have a Giant Eagle in your area...go to any grocery store, convenience mart, truck stop, black market contraband dealer, etc and get a bag of pork rinds...preferably smoked.

Prepare for awesomeness....Walladog public posting complete.