"If you watch TV too much your eyes are going to fall out of your head and roll around on the floor."
That is a sentence a younger version of me heard quite regularly when my mother would grow tired of my presence in front of the boob tube.
It evolved into "If you play too many video games, your brain is going to turn to mush and drip through your nose" when the NES came into my house.
There was no scientific data to back up either of her claims. But her reactions to my screen consumption were about as irrational as her dislike for them. She didn't need real reasons to hate television and video games; she just did.
As for me, I see my son's relationship with our video game console much differently than my mother did. Having grown up a gamer, it's only normal that I be more favourable to its inclusion into our household. But, I see the video game console as a true family object, a reason for everyone to sit around together, have fun, and blow off some steam as a group. Even Ms. Citizen, who had barely even touched a controller in her life, joins in the action.
So if I may be so bold, allow me to offer you some of my tips and tricks to you, fellow gamers with young children, to help make gaming a fun and acceptable part of your family life:
1. Buy social games
Obviously, if you purchase a library made up of first person shooters, you're going about this the wrong way. What you need are group games everyone can jump into quickly without having to learn complex button combos. Obviously, the Mario Party series and Wario Ware, Inc.: Mega Party Game$ are leading contenders, but my son and I have spent good times racing each other in the Sonic Adventure 2 minigames. However, mom always feels a little left out when we punch Sonic in, as her non-gamer background hampers her enjoyment of such a fast-paced game. Easy-to-learn games which everyone can get accustomed to quickly and enjoy at the same time is the ticket to success.
2. Get the hardware
Missing a controller or two? Shell out the bucks and get them. This may come off as stupid, but skipping turns so that everyone "gets their chance" reduces the group feeling. There's nothing worse than watching two people play Listen To The Doctor in Wario Ware and not be able to join in. Third party controllers are less expensive and often just as good.
3. Play yourself
Go on! Dive in! Don't just sit around and direct traffic. Pull out your skills, get trounced by your kids or spouse, it doesn't really matter what happens on the screen as long as you're directly involved in the fun.
4. Little excesses
Making the time feel special with your kin is all about the little things. Push bedtime back a half-hour so so, whip up some smoothies, put the TV volume up beyond what is commonly acceptable; find a little quirk and make it special to this event. Kids associate good feelings to stuff which breaks routine in positive ways. Extra tip: at the Citizen household, we try to avoid associating snacks with our family gaming to break the correlation that junk food is synonymous with good times.
5. Laugh
This is no time to rage against game mechanics or sulk at losing at Cheep Cheep Sweep. Laughter is infectious and once you're having fun, everyone else will. Laugh even harder if you're losing. Everyone will enjoy themselves from start to finish if everything is done in good spirits, regardless at how awful they suck or how often they lose.
6. Release your inner fanboy
Squeal as you make that tight turn in Mario Kart, let out a "Whoa!" or two at your opponent's amazing Super Monkey Ball moves, or bounce around as you score a goal in Super Mario Strikers. Rekindle all that stuff deep inside you that made you love video games in the first place. React impulsively. Allow the sheer stupid fun of gaming to take over. Leave the jaded, judgmental attitude for discussion board threads.
7. Medals for everyone
While most of these games inevitably call for a winner, it's important to strive for competition of the friendly persuasion. While applying tips #5 and #6 should make it occur naturally, always remember to be congratulatory and point out the positives despite the results. As the gamer with the most experience in my home, I always make note of the improvements of others, which helps install a healthy culture of fun. In fact, it was very rewarding the day my son told my girlfriend who, unable to place herself higher than last place at Mario Kart Double Dash, hit an all-time best by coming in fourth: "Good job mom! You've really improved!"
8. Control the duration
Good habits are a little harder to develop than bad ones, and they're especially a breeze to develop when it comes to binge gaming. Sitting down together to play games for three to four hours at a time or more isn't putting quality family gaming time to good use. Not to mention that it encourages long moments of physical inactivity. After all, if mom and dad do it, it's hard to be credible when it's time to get the kids outside. Balance is the key. It's up to you to determine just how much time is enough time; the Citizen household usually doesn't spend any more time at the console than we would at the movies.
9. Gaming night not every night
Along the same lines as tip #8, you should determine the frequency of family gaming moments and stick to it. If done too often, the event will lose its charm as it won't feel quite as special.
As tacky as what I'm about to write sounds, gaming in my home has helped forge stronger bonds among us. Communication and trust come easily with complicity, and complicity is easy to reach when common interests are met with such fun. Developing inside jokes and reactions (All: "Oh, no! Not Dungeon Duos!") becomes the ultimate payoff.
I'm aware that other activities can help in the family bonding process, but gaming need not be perceived as a cloistered, soul-sucking, gut-enlarging time waster. Put to good use creatively, gaming should be a great tool in those moments where family derision is needed.
It evolved into "If you play too many video games, your brain is going to turn to mush and drip through your nose" when the NES came into my house.
There was no scientific data to back up either of her claims. But her reactions to my screen consumption were about as irrational as her dislike for them. She didn't need real reasons to hate television and video games; she just did.
As for me, I see my son's relationship with our video game console much differently than my mother did. Having grown up a gamer, it's only normal that I be more favourable to its inclusion into our household. But, I see the video game console as a true family object, a reason for everyone to sit around together, have fun, and blow off some steam as a group. Even Ms. Citizen, who had barely even touched a controller in her life, joins in the action.
So if I may be so bold, allow me to offer you some of my tips and tricks to you, fellow gamers with young children, to help make gaming a fun and acceptable part of your family life:
1. Buy social games
Obviously, if you purchase a library made up of first person shooters, you're going about this the wrong way. What you need are group games everyone can jump into quickly without having to learn complex button combos. Obviously, the Mario Party series and Wario Ware, Inc.: Mega Party Game$ are leading contenders, but my son and I have spent good times racing each other in the Sonic Adventure 2 minigames. However, mom always feels a little left out when we punch Sonic in, as her non-gamer background hampers her enjoyment of such a fast-paced game. Easy-to-learn games which everyone can get accustomed to quickly and enjoy at the same time is the ticket to success.
2. Get the hardware
Missing a controller or two? Shell out the bucks and get them. This may come off as stupid, but skipping turns so that everyone "gets their chance" reduces the group feeling. There's nothing worse than watching two people play Listen To The Doctor in Wario Ware and not be able to join in. Third party controllers are less expensive and often just as good.
3. Play yourself
Go on! Dive in! Don't just sit around and direct traffic. Pull out your skills, get trounced by your kids or spouse, it doesn't really matter what happens on the screen as long as you're directly involved in the fun.
4. Little excesses
Making the time feel special with your kin is all about the little things. Push bedtime back a half-hour so so, whip up some smoothies, put the TV volume up beyond what is commonly acceptable; find a little quirk and make it special to this event. Kids associate good feelings to stuff which breaks routine in positive ways. Extra tip: at the Citizen household, we try to avoid associating snacks with our family gaming to break the correlation that junk food is synonymous with good times.
5. Laugh
This is no time to rage against game mechanics or sulk at losing at Cheep Cheep Sweep. Laughter is infectious and once you're having fun, everyone else will. Laugh even harder if you're losing. Everyone will enjoy themselves from start to finish if everything is done in good spirits, regardless at how awful they suck or how often they lose.
6. Release your inner fanboy
Squeal as you make that tight turn in Mario Kart, let out a "Whoa!" or two at your opponent's amazing Super Monkey Ball moves, or bounce around as you score a goal in Super Mario Strikers. Rekindle all that stuff deep inside you that made you love video games in the first place. React impulsively. Allow the sheer stupid fun of gaming to take over. Leave the jaded, judgmental attitude for discussion board threads.
7. Medals for everyone
While most of these games inevitably call for a winner, it's important to strive for competition of the friendly persuasion. While applying tips #5 and #6 should make it occur naturally, always remember to be congratulatory and point out the positives despite the results. As the gamer with the most experience in my home, I always make note of the improvements of others, which helps install a healthy culture of fun. In fact, it was very rewarding the day my son told my girlfriend who, unable to place herself higher than last place at Mario Kart Double Dash, hit an all-time best by coming in fourth: "Good job mom! You've really improved!"
8. Control the duration
Good habits are a little harder to develop than bad ones, and they're especially a breeze to develop when it comes to binge gaming. Sitting down together to play games for three to four hours at a time or more isn't putting quality family gaming time to good use. Not to mention that it encourages long moments of physical inactivity. After all, if mom and dad do it, it's hard to be credible when it's time to get the kids outside. Balance is the key. It's up to you to determine just how much time is enough time; the Citizen household usually doesn't spend any more time at the console than we would at the movies.
9. Gaming night not every night
Along the same lines as tip #8, you should determine the frequency of family gaming moments and stick to it. If done too often, the event will lose its charm as it won't feel quite as special.
As tacky as what I'm about to write sounds, gaming in my home has helped forge stronger bonds among us. Communication and trust come easily with complicity, and complicity is easy to reach when common interests are met with such fun. Developing inside jokes and reactions (All: "Oh, no! Not Dungeon Duos!") becomes the ultimate payoff.
I'm aware that other activities can help in the family bonding process, but gaming need not be perceived as a cloistered, soul-sucking, gut-enlarging time waster. Put to good use creatively, gaming should be a great tool in those moments where family derision is needed.
