Splash-back and the Erosion of Manhood

I realised something the other day, I sit when I pee. Not always but more often than not and only usually at home. I never used to. I used strut confidently to the toilet, release a stream of Wellskelpts finest vintage and turn on my heels to leave, occasionally stopping to wash my hands. Not now though. Not since the advent of............the wife. Now there is too much to consider. I need to close the toilet door, I need to put the seat up, I need to flush after, I need to clean up any splash back before I go, I need to wash my hands everytime (even when there is absolutely no chance of them being unclean). I mean, my confidence is just shot to pieces. What if I forget one of the key tasks? What if, God forbid, I miss some splash back? I ask you, splash back, what can I do about that? Even flushing causes splash back. So I usually sit when I wee. Its just the easier option to keep her happy and tick all the boxes. Only in Pub and restraunt toilets am I free to stand with confidence. In these places you find men in similar positions. Catching each other out of the corner of our eyes (because we dare not look at each other since that would break one of the cardinal rules of male public peeing - never look at another man when pissing) exhcanging slight nods and subtle knowing winks of men free of the shackles if only for a moment. One brief, sweet moment when men are manly once more.

I suppose you have to think of something when your sitting there feeling like a gimp.