Considering bear necessities

I recently had a text conversation with a friend. I asked him if he was going to the pub later to which he replied does a bear shit in the woods. He did go to the pub of course but I pondered the question. Does a bear indeed shit in the woods? I have never seen it happen. There are no bears in the wild on this island but in all my years of watching nature TV I cannot recall ever seeing how or where a bear goes to the toilet. Oh I have seen them mark territory with scent but never take a dump. It is possible that they perhaps favour open grassland for their business, allowing a greater and easier dispersal of the au de jobby? Perhaps they like to do the business up a tree since most bears are good climbers or maybe they just bury it where ever thay are? In fact, thinking about polar bears and that pristine white environment in which they live most of the time I do not ever recall seeing yellow snow or brown blots on the landsacpe. I have never seen a baby pidgeon but I know they exist, similarly bears must excrete somewhere, somehow.

Neither have I seen the Pen Fairy, you know, the unseen force that stalks offices stealing pens from your desk? In the last week  four pens have vanished from my desk. Four non-descript, plain old ball point pens. One disappeared in the time it took me to get a cup of tea. I keep wondering about how to catch such an elusive creature. Would fixing a pen to the desk and smearing superglue over it stick an ephemeral being? I assume the fairy is not of this world as I have never seen it though sometimes I swear there is a slight movement from time to time just at the edge of my periforal vision. Add to the is the times when a shadow flits across my view and I swear there is something unworldly happening. I must be cunning in my approach.

Talking of tea reminds me I should go and get some. I will be taking my pen with me even though I have another two in my drawer just to be safe, however, I'm sure that having them there is as much use as a fart in a space suit so long as the pen fairy is concerned.

Can spacemen (and spacewomen) fart? If so does it come naturally or do they need to force it out? Did the constipated mathematician really work it out with a pencil?

It must be Friday.