Crazy

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Crazy

It's maddening the thought
that doesn't die
and takes over
fixated on lie

Can't move on - or does he
in ways he doesn't know
forgoing past and future
for dreams he will forgo

I'm not sure it matters
at the end of the day
which direction he goes
the pain wont go away

and still, he wonders
to move on can he look back
or see the way forward
despite what it may lack

and yet, despite it all
there's joy to be found
bits and nuggets gleaming
in the shit all around

is it enough to keep going?
can this fill his cup?
is enough to know - just now
before he gives up?

there's no answer to this puzzle
and you can't flip a coin
when the dire consequence
simply demands you join

with the thought of others
and remember why you're here
how the hell it happened
whose car did you steer

these are real people
each and every one
that walks through your life
for sadness and for fun

and still the thought festers
and eats him alive
that the pain he's in now
may not leave - may thrive

a choice, simple in making
belies raging conflict within
it contradicts the angst
of wrestling with his own sin

so, yeah, i'm going crazy
i have no idea what to do
when faced with these decisions
i have no fucking clue

i want to run again
so i don't face all the pain
i want to say goodbye
and lose what i have to gain

just to spite my face
cut it all away
and face my own shame
alone - in my own way

it's driving me crazy.

-tait 10/3/06

Blog by Matthew Tait Lifto