Doubt Vs Hope Vs Mental Preservation

Normally I am a quiet person keep to myself, but I am getting a headache so I thought I would turn to my compadres here and see what your bright minds can come up with.  I have been going through some…I will say…interesting…times as of late. I have noticed that relationships can be difficult even under the best of circumstances. When things are not at their best…well, hell…bring out the boom shots and let the war commence. It has not been the best of times…in fact it has been quite the opposite. This weekend I have been sitting here trying to think of a solution. Unfortunately, I think the end has come. The person whom I have cared for…loved for almost a year now…has decided to move into a rental home paid for by her ex. An ex that has openly said he would like to get back together with her I might add. So I can sit here…and tell myself… ok yes they have a child together, but this is a child he walked out on before she was born 14 some years ago…a child he has only known for a year…spent less then a couple of weeks with in reality.  So there shouldn't be any feelings left between them, right?  Yet, then why would she just move right in. Not only that…he has another daughter he wants to move into the house with her and her kids. Supposedly he isn’t going to be living there himself, but I just have this feeling that will change…I mean…he is going to be putting her up in this place for a good chunk of change a month, he wants to get back together with her and she is seemingly walking right into this with open arms. So some of you might be asking well…why am I not moving in with her…or putting her up? I have offered…granted…it wouldn’t be the easiest thing financially at the current time but it could be done…but no…she is choosing this route instead. So I go back and forth about what to do…my feelings for her and the kids versus my sense of how the tide is turning. So…you have heard my dilemma.

 

Justification according to the dictionary is a reason, fact, circumstance, or explanation that justifies or defends.

 

I just do not know if I am trying to justify to myself reasons of ending this relationship or of somehow trying to salvage it. Anyone have any possible insights or points I may not be seeing?

 

This is why I should of stayed in my tower…the life of a simple hermit is so much more peaceful.