Neighbor drama (boring story if you want to read)

So we have been living at our house since Aug. of 2003. and love the neighbors on one side of us, but the other side lives an old troll of a man that needs to be dealt with and maybe burned at the stake...I will try to explain the situation as best as  I can.

The property lines are called "zero property lines". Basically that means his yard touches my house, so there is no seperation between the two, but we do share a fence about a third of the length of the yard from the further most back of the house up to the side of my house. Anyway. We have a tree in our back yard, that actually does go through seasonal changes (kind of rare for socal but whatever) and it is pretty close to the fence we share. Well he moved in 2 years after we had bought our house, the tree in my backyard was there before we bought the house (we did not plant it), but we like the shade it provides our bedroom in the summer. When it decides to hibernate, the leaves change colors and they fall off. Mainly on my yard, but his back yard does get a fair amount of leaves. So initially he tried to tell us that our tree was dead, and that we should have it cut down...I then said, well I will call a tree Dr. out to take a look and see if that was the case. Guess what, the tree is not dead, just changing for the seasons.

He then says I need to get it trimmed, ok cool I want to try and be a good neighbor and all and tell him that I need to have to save up to have it done, because it has cost me 300 bucks to have it done in the past, and things are a little tight right now.

He then thinks I am some kind of tool and that he can find someone to do it for 50-100 bucks. I said well if you can find someone to do it for that much, I could do it.

A couple of months go by, and he comes over and says he found somone to do it for 75 bucks.

I say great, give me the number I will set up an appointment, he then tells me he has already done that...Um...okay, you probably should have check with us first but it is all about being a good neighbor right? So he says they will be here on Thursday (a few weeks ago) during the day. No big deal, my Mom is here watching the kids, I will leave the money with her and she can pay them. Thursday comes and goes these guys do not show up. He comes over and says, I saw them but because it was raining they could not do it, okay makes sense, so they are coming on Wednesday. Cool, rinse repeat....Guess what, nope they do not show.

So another week or so goes by, and Teri is out front going to our mail box. Neighbor comes over and says, well I guess those guys are not going to show...So when are you guys going to get the tree trimmed? Teri reiterates the original conversation I have with him, and he says he has arthritus and it is difficult for him to keep having to clean up the leaves. Teri then says we can try to talk to our lawn guy and see if he will come over after he is done with us and clean up the leaves, well then the neighbor says he hates our lawn guy cause he blows the trimmings onto his property and he will not let him onto his property. Teri then says well I will talk with Mike and see what we can do, he then starts to raise his voice at Teri and tells her he does not really care what we have to do, but to just get it done. Huge mistake on this guys part, my wife is almost 6 foot tall, this dude is 5'7" if he had heels on, she rolls up to him and is like, look I said I would talk to my husband about it, and if you raise your voice to me again I will have you removed from my property. Old guys gets told and goes back to his place.

Teri tells me the story, and I am like no fucking way that guy is going to speak like that to you again, and the rage is building, the Mrs. sees the rage about to unleash. Then tells me to let it go this time, but to talk to him and it would be up to me how to handle it.

Fine...I go over and tell this douche, I am not going ot be able to get the tree trimmed until I save the money, he goes on about his arthritus blah..blah..blah, and I said options were given to you for that but you turned them down, and if you ever talk to my wife in that tone of voice again to be ready for the consequences.

So about 5 weeks go buy, and I have the money saved up to get the tree trimmed. I call my tree guy, set up the appointment for a couple of weeks down the road (his first available time)and don't think anything about it.

Well all of a sudden my clothes dryer is not working, it is taking like 3 or 4 cycles to dry clothes....Fuck something else now has to pop up. I call my house warranty people, they come out, take a look and say that my dryer vent is clogged and I need to get it cleaned out before they can replace the part that is short circuiting (thermostat). Okay, but what is weird is we had all the vents clean before the minions were born (2 years ago) and that is not really enough time to build up enough lint in it, but whatever. We now set up for someone to come out and clean our dryer vent, but unfortunately the vent goes out into my evil neighbors yard, and from our last encounter he told me not to ask for anything again from him. So we asked the service guy if he could get the job done without going into his yard. He said he would give it his best shot.

So I leave for Vegas thinking all is cool. Well I get a call from Teri Saturday morning, with no message...WTF are the kids ok? Did something happen? I call her back, no answer, I call her cell, straight to voice mail...2 hours later I get a hold of her. Everything is fine, but we found out what was clogging the vent.

A FUCKING WADED UP PLASTIC CEREAL BAG!!!!!

MOTHER FUCKER jammed a cereal bag up my vent!!! Teri went over to clean up the "mess", rang the neighbors door bell, and explained to him she was there to clean up any mess because we were having our vents cleaned. He then starts to yell at her telling her we need to relocate our vents, she then said whatever old man and walks back to our house. The service guys says, I think I can get the stuff by using some tongs. Well he does and we have it. Teri then calls the Association to let them know what is going on, and someone from the board will be over to talk about it.

Well we find out that we do not have to do anything for him, unless the root system of the tree was up rooting his walkway or something.

So I tell Teri to cancel the tree guy, and I will talk to this SOB when I get home. So I am home a couple of days, and while coming home from work late last week, the old man pops out of his yard and approaches me...says I need to get the tree trimmed or he is going to the Association.

So I get about 3 inches from his face and say:

Old man, you yelled at my wife twice.

You stuffed a cereal bag up my dryer vent.

I had tree trimmers all planned out to do it this weekend, but because you are a dick, I have canceled the trimmers and you can clean up leaves until your hunched over from your arthritus. It's not going to get done unless you want to pay for it.

Don't ever talk to my wife or family again, you want something for me, send me a letter.

He then denied the bag thing, and said he is going to the board.

Good!! I tell him. I already did, and according to them I do not have to do shit.

I walked away and told him to get off my property.

Have not heard from him since.

Sorry about the length of the story, but I wanted to make sure I pained the hole picture.

Die old man...Die..