Tipping

Maybe I wasn't properly trained in etiquette but tipping is something I've always had an issue with. I'm not talking about how much to tip waitresses and bartenders. In most cases I like to think I'm pretty generous (25+% unless they suck). I'm referring more to those jobs where tipping is more than likely handled on a customer-by-customer basis.

One thing first. The Dunkin Donuts tip mug. Just stop. I've never, ever once tipped anybody in a fast food establishment. I've worked in fast food establishments in high school and I was never once tipped. But 10 or so years ago, somebody at a Dunkin Donuts decided to put a tip cup in front of the register. Now Dunkin Donuts actually prints "official" tip mugs for their stores. Just give me my $2.00 coffee, and don't give me that dirty look because judging by the tip mug I'm not the only asshole who didn't give you a fucking handout for doing what nearly every high schooler is qualified to do.

People that load shit in your car. If the stock kid at Home Depot helps me load the heavy item I just bought, what's the protocol? I used my credit card to buy a washer and dryer but didn't have any cash on me. I felt like the kid deserved a tip but at least he didn't give me a dirty look.

Parking attendants. When you have to park in that over-priced garage in the city, you grab your shit and leave your key in the ignition. Come back from whatever you're doing and Tony zips back around with your vehicle. Assuming he hadn't raided your spare change compartment, how much are you supposed to tip? I had to pay out the ass for parking the other day in Boston ($30 because my Honda pickup is supposedly oversized) and threw the guy a couple loose dollar bills. I'm hoping that wasn't an insult.

Taxis and limos. I'm not talking about stretch limos,but rather town cars (in my case, company-paid). Is there a normal fare percentage to tip? Should yellow cabs be tipped differently from town cars? I know you are supposed to tip but never know just how much. And in the case where the ride has already been paid for by my company, I still don't want to be the one cheap motherfucker of the day, so I always feel obligated to give more.

Hair cutters. That $15 cut at Supercuts took about 10 minutes. Again, I know it's standard practice to throw something, but does the 15-20% tip suffice? Or are they usually looking for more?

It's very Andy Rooney-ish, I know. But every time I'm presented with these types of situations, I'm always torn between being cheap and appearing cheap.