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I call Bullshit

nae

Shared on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 09:04

So school started, Which in its self would evoke Joy and enthusiasm but A) i work so really doesn't matter and B) I have to get them ready!

Which leads me to my first blog in awhile, Why do your children leave their brains in Bed in the morning when trying to get them ready? Thankfully Ryan has seen the after math of my War with the maxwell house Coffee tin so he has started to make the coffee before he leaves at the butt crack of dawn which has saved the children this last week.

So Alarm  goes off....  " fuck really 7 already Jesus"

The yelling starts... " I need 5 more minutes.... WHYYYYYYY..... I hate SCHOOLllll I hate you MOM.....

I stumble down the stairs to the 14 YO and see the massive fire fight she has had with the closet....the closet won.... spit all the clothes out in a desperate attempt to help her pick an outfit.  Hair products all over her bathroom.... makeup.... and when i walked in to clean said bathroom I STUCK the the GOD DAMN FLOOR... wanna know why??? HAIRSPRAY  are you kidding really?  So its cleaned..

I walk up to see the 2 other girls still in BED WTF really... so  the evill in me starts.. I pop in a little breakfast thingy in the microwave... the smells travels to them... they HOP UP thinking I actually made something only to fall in my TRAP...the DETOUR to the bathroom...HA !!!! The fighting begins.... apparently someone forgot to inform my kids i was not a HAIRSTYLIST in a different life... The Clothes issues are just now hitting the 11 yo so shes is just maybe 2 outfit tantrum and she is ok... so now 14 yo SLAMS door for carpool (((which I do next week )) hahahah  left me with the 2.. ok hair done... outfits on..... I think .. make beds... so it doesnt tempt them back in...

Breakfast..... MASSIVE failure on my part... I forget they turn into COOKIE MONSTER and wear their food... CHANGE said outfit on 5 year old... Open door to take them to the bus stop... Im filling ok... we survived..

I take a glance of my self as I walk out.. HOLY SHIT? could this image be contributing to my childrens lack of brain function lol More then likely but hey I did it.. we didn't miss the bus....

I get to bus stop looking like i have been in the boxing ring... holding a cup of Coffee which we all know is the devils juice here in utah.. to only be welcomed by the Stepford Wives...

These bitches even had bra's on.. REALLY??? make up, hair with what im sure is the "bump it up's" in it... do they get up at 5 am??

So my triumph was Trumped.!!!!! Damn these WOMEN DAMN THEM

Comments

TDrag27's picture
Submitted by TDrag27 on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 09:18
The fall season marks a lot of good things in my life. Beautiful weather. My birthday. The leaves turning pretty colors. And Nae's blogs about car pooling. Do you still have the CD I sent you? Need me to make you another mix?
TKBosss's picture
Submitted by TKBosss on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 09:22
I'm lucky my son is 9 and my daughter is 4. It's still easy to get them up and get them ready. Though I do lay out there clothes the night before, to speed things up. Then they have to come pick out breakfast, before sitting down to watch TV so I can get ready. Oh, and I make them make their own beds. I will go back and make them look good, but they have to make the effort first.
Automan21k's picture
Submitted by Automan21k on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 09:32
Those "up at the crack of dawn with a smile" women always creep me out. I wake up angry and annoyed, I expect my woman to be the same so I have someone to argue with until I get my coffee. its the people who have it "all together" who are the ones kidnapping and torturing the UPS guy in their basement.
FadeIntoBlack's picture
Submitted by FadeIntoBlack on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 09:37
I get the kids ready for school too so I know what you mean. I also live in Utah, and enjoy nothing more than standing out on my front porch waving at all the early morning neighborhood people with a big cup of joe in my hand. P.S. I also am the one who stands out on my porch with a beer at night as they are walking their dogs. ;0
nae's picture
Submitted by nae on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 09:40
lol@fade you sound like Ry... does the exact same thing... Tara no Im armed!!!! I also pick out kids clothes the night before... It doesn't matter lol
CMA's picture
Submitted by CMA on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 10:06
LOL, nice.
G_40's picture
Submitted by G_40 on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 13:16
ahhhh Meaty...you're beautiful in your own way....
wooglin1161's picture
Submitted by wooglin1161 on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 15:18
you should've thrown the devil's juice on one of the stepford wives and seen if they shorted out
nae's picture
Submitted by nae on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 14:41
Kev :) you make me chuckle
govnamac's picture
Submitted by govnamac on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 15:45
Get your lazy ass out of bed earlier.
nae's picture
Submitted by nae on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 19:36
MacA Nator... Know your roll and make me coffee. where ya been loser?
govnamac's picture
Submitted by govnamac on Tue, 08/31/2010 - 19:46
I'm on all the time, you are never around, or I just don't get invited to the party. Another year of this and I'll take it personal. And waking up at 7 you get no sympathy from me. By 7 I've already dealt with the Holland Tunnel traffic and am at my desk.

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