So much for that guy

Bad luck... it turns out that it may have been a great first date, but the second... not so much.

He talks incessantly, and drones on about stuff I am trying hard to care about but can't. (Another programmer- I think I'm starting to understand why there are so many single programmers out there.) He's not another Naskarl, but take away the Swedish accent and the giant gut, and he's kinda close. He's not grabby luckily.

Anyway, we hung out at my apartment, just having a glass of wine, talking about our backgrounds and families. That part was fine. Then we decided to go eat at my favorite Thai reastaurant. He'd been to Thailand several times on vacation and had learned some phrases, so he attempted conversation with the hostess. I don't get particularly impressed when someone knows like three sentences in a language. If you can have a whole conversation, then you have piqued my interest. Anyway, we ordered food, talked some more and then decided to go rent a movie. I warned him that I was already sleepy and chances are good that I'd fall asleep during the movie. We got Repo Men-- it was gross but kinda good. However it seemed like it was the longest movie ever made, the story just wouldn't end! I did doze off three or four times so I may hav missed  critical moments of the plot.

So once we turned on the movie, he said he wants to lay down, so he has his head on a pillow in my lap. I have no issue with this. It was kinda nice being the one that is asked for some attention from. However when I suggested we switch (like more than halfway through the movie) he said no, he's comfortable where he is. I thought that was a little selfish, but whatever. I also kept cracking my ankle- it needed to pop and so I was twisting it, and was asked to sit still. That irritated me a little, but I can see his point. The movie ends, and we're both super sleepy. He lives about 30 minutes away I think, so I offered him the couch for the evening (I wasn't going to sleep with him, I didn't want to) so he said ok. The night passed uneventfully and this morning I get up around ten to find him with my coffeepot, which is now completely dismantled. He said I was going to make coffee for us, but I thought maybe I'd clean out your coffee pot first. (In my head I'm thinking "so you thought you'd take it apart first to see how it works?") I said I appreciate the gesture but I don't mind getting Starbucks. He insisted on doing the coffee himself, even after I said that I don't have any cream or milk. His suggestion: why don't you go buy some cream while I clean this?

To me, that is just weird. I would never make this sort of suggestion when I'm at someone's house, and moreover, it's not his responsibility to clean out my coffee pot. (Ok, yeah it could stand a good cleaning, but that's MY job.) Nothing I could say could make him change his mind. So I went to go get milk, and when I got back, he had q-tips, paper towels, kitchen towels and a scrub brush out-- he made the coffee maker look brand new, which I appreciate, but was still a little weirded out by. I offered to scrub the pot for him, since it's my stuff and I'd be more comfortable doing it myself.  He let me, but stood over my shoulder making sure it was done right I guess. I sarcastically asked if he'd like to inspect it, and he said yes, then scrutinized it, and then redid it himself. I was just plain insulted and irritated by this point. Anyway, 20 minutes later he has the coffeepot reassembled and brewing. When I poured it up I said he could add his own sugar and cream, I didn't want to risk doing it wrong. I fixed my coffee, took a sip, and I thought it didn't taste very good. Kinda bitter, more than it should have been. (He used the really good dark roast beans from Central Market, which I know to taste great.) He tastes his and says, wow this is really bitter. I think something is wrong with your beans. (Strike 2 buddy, one more and you're out.)

My smartass answer back was, maybe it was all that soap and lemon juice you used while scouring everything. He disagreed. Whatever. I drank my damn cup of coffee then said thanks for going out last night and for the coffee, I need to get some practicing done so I probably should get started on it soon. What he interpreted that as was "let's go sit on the couch and talk some more". I humored him a little bit. Then we got to talking music, and I thought I could kill off his interest by lauching into a music history lecture. Turns out he liked it and asked ot hear more. I told one more, then he told stuff about all the many bands he's gone to hear, then he summed up everything by saying that all musicians and creative type people tend to be a little nutty anyway....

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he said, "no I mean Professional musicians and performing artists". I fall into both categories. Clearly he doesn't see what I do as being professional nor does he see my performances as important enough to qualify me as a performing artist. That was strike 3. So while he's still chattering away about who knows what, I pull out my symphony music and start reading through it (silently, of course- I don't practice in front of people I don't trust or know very well yet.). I'm thinking that he's going to notice I'm not paying attention and that I may actually mean what I said about needing to practice a couple hours. He kept talking about going to the Dave Matthews concert tonight, or going fishing, and wasn't sure which he'd rather do. I told him to fish or cut bait (bad joke, sorry). Then I said pretty firmly that I appreciate the time he spent with me but I really need to put in some work on this music and I'll talk to him later. He stood up to leave, and managed to talk another 15 minutes about fishing before he finally squeezed out the door.

So I guess he isn't a winner after all. Either that or I'm far too picky. Really there's nothing wrong with the guy but now that I kinda have a bad taste in my mouth about him, I know it'll be hard to undo and I just don't think I want to go to the effort to see past what irritated me. I should have gone to Colorado this weekend. I very nearly bought a last minute ticket but then decided not to (motly because it was more money than I wanted to spend). Wish I had though. My boss invited me over last night for Tetris, brie, wine and cake. I wish I'd done that instead of go on the date. Oh well. Maybe this will be a good time for me not to see anyone. I really don't want to be alone. I hate it. But I have so little interest in going searching again. It's depressing. I miss the familiarity of being with somone I already know and like. Starting all over again is crap. I'm taking a break maybe. It depends on how much lonliness I can put up with. I have a hole in my schedule, 1 night a week where nothing is planned, and hope that I can fill it some way that I won't regret. It's what I want, but don't know that I should, or can anymore. Really not my decision right now.