Bachelorette party

I was supposed to be hosting a bachelorette party tonight... instead I am so sick that I actually bailed. I haven't been this sick in years. This cold snuck up on me and just knocked me flat. I called the bride early this morning when I saw I didn't feel better than the day before. I felt so much worse this morning. I called her to say I still plan on being there (and since I'm the DD I absolutely didn't want to bail) but I may keep my distance from everyone. She said don't come at all because she didn't want to risk getting sick herself, or the rest of the bridesmaids either. I asked if I could hire a car for them for the evening and she said no, don't worry about it, she's cancelling the whole thing if I'm not coming. I feel so terrible that I killed this evening! I didn't get sick on purpose, and usually I will just suck it up if it's a little cold. This is not a little cold however. She swears she's not mad, but I bet she is. I could not feel worse about this. Luckily we've been friends for like 15 years so I don't think this will kill off a good friendship. It's not like she has someone telling her constantly that I'm a rotten person and shouldn't be alive or something spiteful like that. Her fiancee hasn't poisoned her mind against me. But then I haven't slept with him either. I will make it up to her big time for missing tonight. To me, there's nothing worse than letting someone down. She's been there for me even when we don't agree. In fact, she could NOT have lobbied harder against me marrying my exhusband without affecting our friendship. We spent a few quieter years when I was newly married. She hated him like poison and vice versa, so we just avoided all Amanada-Brian interactions. It worked out fine- I lost the crapweasel of a husband, and started spending a lot more time with someone worth having in my life for the long term. I'm just glad she didn't lose touch entirely. It sucks being caught between two people like that. But I get it. Best friends are worth more. Wow, I'm rambling. I think my cold medicine has contributed to this.

On a positive note, the guy who I reconnected with from high school came by late last night to see how I was feeling. He had just gotten back from a business trip so on his way home from the airport he stopped at my place and brought me a diet coke (already he's my hero for knowing that) and a package of ramen noodle soup for my cold. I wanted to invite him in, but I didn't because 1) I'm sick, 2) it wouldn't hurt to run the vacuum again before having guests, and 3) he's never been inside my apartment before so I don't want to give him a poor first impression, and 4) meemoos might chide me again. ;) JK, said in love.

So we sat outside on the walkway and talked for almost an hour, watching the bats fly around overhead. He has the coolest job! He works with heart surgeons, training them on a laser that his company sells and trains medical staff to use. So basically his job is to fly all around the country demonstrating, selling and training this heart laser thing. Part of the training involves him being in the OR for an actual heart surgery that uses this device, so he can guide the doctor or make suggestions as he's using it. Yesterday he saw two heart surgeries. I normally have a pretty strong stomach, but I swear my knees got a little weak last night when he was talking about the hangar that holds open the ribs to expose the chest cavity. *shudder* Annnnnnyway, we talked a lot of his job and what he's been doing since high school, then talked more about people we know, what they're doing, etc. Really it was a great night. I was just shocked that he would stop by just to bring me stuff so I'd feel better, after having been on a 3 day business trip. He was probably exhausted and still took the time to see me. What a nice guy! I have been settling for way too little recently. (I hear you thinking, shit, all it takes is a diet coke, some soup and a smile? Easy to please.)

Since I feel like hammered shit, I'm off to bed again.