Need a new TV. Moving soon maybe.

I can't remember having a busier schedule than I have had for the last several weeks. It won't let up until mid March, but I actually have carved out time tonight to blog a little.

Thing #1: Matt and I were planning to move in together in June, and now he doesn't want to. He SAYS it's not about me, but I say he's sparing my feelings and feeding me a line of crap. I didn't push it, cuz if he doesn't want to, then fine. It wouldn't be good for us if it we're not agreed equally. I have this major issue with rejection- I wasn't good enough for my ex husband to keep me, I wasn't good enough for Vancouver, I wasn't good enough for anyone until maybe this one, and now he's saying "I'm just not there". Well, he says he's interested in seeing me still, and see where things go, so I guess I can be grateful for that. Nobody's uttered the L word so I guess it would be stupid to force a living situation if it's still a fairly nebulous thing. I guess I'm just disappointed because he seemed to positive about it earlier, and now he's pushing back a bit. I can come on too strong, I know this, but I really didn't expect his answer to be officially "not yet". I picked at him for details, and he kept swearing up and down that it's not so much to do with me as it is about his own autonomy. I didn't really understand that. He's been single, living alone since he was 18. He's 34 now. Maybe it's time to try something new! (Pssst... better chance of scoring when your woman is right there and not an hour drive away!)

So anyway I've been looking at some condos and apartments on a local waterfront- a new area sort of- very posh but not back breaklng-ly expensive. I still have a couple months to decide where I'm going. I'm trying to move further west, closer to Matt, but maybe I should be more conerned with my own stuff first. I mean right now I live half a mile from work (nice). :) I don't want to live far away from it, and the only thing that would convince me to do so would be so I could be closer to Matt. However, I'm having a hard time justifying moving just to inch a little closer to him so I can drive further to work. Frankly, I don't want to spend money on moving my damn piano if I'm only gonna move a few miles. On the other hand, I detest my neighbors and their raucous friends, I dislike the service in my complex, and I wish I had a nicer looking (more modern) apartment. I suppose I'll move within my neighborhood so I can stay close to work. I have to be honest, I'm more likely to change my boyfriend sooner than change my job. Not to say I want to throw him off- just saying I have a sweet gig and I don't want to let that go without a real reason.

Thing #2: I've been asked to be an executive officer of a local symphony. I'm already on the artistic committe, librarian, musician and stage crew. Not sure I can handle any more. They keep asking, pretty persistently too, but as much as I'd like to do it I keep rejecting it because it's just too much right now. :(

Thing #3: I finished playing Faery- liked it well enough. It was way too easy, but entertainging enough. I'm still working on Lucidity (achievement whore). It's a pretty dark game, all things considered. Red Dead zombie pack- I'm frustrated with it. It's too hard for me, even on easy. I just want to play through it withough dying every minute and a half. It's not fun when I can't do it. Borderlands- gave up on the Underdome (for now). Too much. Matt got burned out too so we shelved it. I played the demo for Bulletstorm... seems like BioShock 2 and Borderlands but without the upgrades and leveling. Sort of. Not sure I'm going to get it or not. Been playing a lot of Civ Rev recently- trying to get all the achievements again. Very excited that Portal 2 will be coming out soon.

Thing #4: Discovered a new TV show I love: Breaking Bad. It's about a chemistry teacher who's got terminal cancer who goes into business with a former student, cooking meth and selling it so he can leave his family with enough money to live on once he dies. Sad tale, but decent action. Pretty gory at times too. Oh another show I caught that was really good was Walking Dead. OMG that is creepy but awesome!

Thing #5: I need  a new TV. I need a new couch. I need new bedroom furniture, except the bed. Yes, these are actual needs. My couch is too big, and is old and full of cat hair (ick). My TV is old (so old it has a VCR player built into it) and bulky, and doesn't have a digital converter thing, and is useless except for playing N64 on, and watching DVD's (or VCR tapes). My good TV is only 32" so I want a slightly larger one for my bedroom so I can actually see text on the screen from my bed. I can't stand big screen TV's honestly. I see no point to having a 72" screen. Anything bigger than 42" is ridiculous, in a small space. Anywayyyyy.....My bedroom furniture is old family stuff that I've had as long as I can remember. The only time I didn't use it was when I lived in the dorms in college. It's old, it doesn't match the rest of my stuff, it's outdated (it was my grandmother's, so my mom has forbid to get rid of it all these years) and I have far too many clothes to stuff into it. I could just get rid of some of the clothes, but I would rather have matching furniture and make my apartment look like an adult lives there, not a college student. Matt and I went to a furniture store this weekend to look at stuff, and I found something I want and tried to buy it but he stopped me and said I should think it over for a few days, and look around other places too.

I make a lot of snap decisions, and have about a 50% success rate with them, meaning about half the time I make a bad decision. He NEVER makes snap decisions and is in a much better place than I am, financially, so I guess it's good I listened to him. Secretly, I've been holding off going to buy new furniture because if we were going to move in together I wouldn't bother buying a new couch, since his whole living room set is only like 3 years old, and mine is 9, and his bedroom set is new too. But since I'll be living alone at least another 15 months I may as well have the crap I want. I can't spend my life waiting for him to decide or adjust or whatever, so screw it, I want the new stuff. He has the TV I want, and is talking about getting rid of it. Why are men so thick headed sometimes?

So there's my rant for tonight. I've been working 14 hr days recently, so I think it's time I headed to bed (in the mismatched furniture room with the small, old TV).