In today's world of online chat, online gaming and settings such as Xbox Live the definition of "real life" friends has been questioned. Comments like "He's got a life and real friends" and "He and so and so are friends in real life" come to mind. But what defines a friend? If you research the word friend you will find the most common definitions as follows:
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
The definition of friend in itself is flawed and too vague. The words likes and acquaintance too blase. It should read something more like:
A person whom one shares a common interest or passion.
A person with whom you can share your life.
A person whom accepts you as you are.
A person whom makes you feel wanted or needed in this world.
A person you can disagree with but agree to disagree and still care about each other.
A person whom can change your day and mood by just hearing their voice.
The definition could be endless.
Being not only a female gamer, but also a single parent, these outlets have given me something that I cannot obtain in "real life". With limited time away from my house and limited money, meeting people is not easy. "Real life" friends are limited to the people I work with. At that, once you leave a job, keeping up with those people becomes difficult. Meeting people in the "real world" is hard. Finding people who enjoy gaming as much as you do or meeting someone of the opposite sex and not having the physical aspect fall into play.
The definition of friend does not state that you have had to meet the person in a grocery store, bar, at your son's school or actually have had physical contact. Because you have met a person via the internet or Xbox Live are they less of a friend? I answer that question with a resounding NO. My belief is that friendships made in this setting can even be stronger than "real life" friendships. It would be so easy to terminate a friendship, over something small, in this setting. Someone makes you angry, you go to your friends list and "click", friend removed. No big deal, you've never met the person, who cares how they feel about it. Whereas with "real life" friends, you've seen them and have spent physical time with them. Instead I choose to work harder at understanding what caused the problem and dissolve it with that person and continue the friendship. Being a female, the friendships I make with male gamers is based on who I am and not how I look. These things just don't take place that often in the "real world".
To my relief communities like ours exist. A place where we all share the love of gaming and some of us, our lives.
When a member became an uncle recently he called to share his news. The phone calls at night from various members when I'm not signed on asking "Phreak, you getting on? We are playing Cat and Mouse right now." Or New Year's Eve when I was not able to get online, a phone call from a member wishing me a happy New Year and asking where I was while having me on speaker phone so everyone in the pregame lobby could hear me. The anticipation of a Charity Lan Party so that we can all meet and play together and enjoy each others company. Me making a call to a member who had not been himself lately online and making sure he was alright and everything was ok. When I enter a pregame lobby and I'm greeted like Norm walking into Cheers.
Are these "real life" friendships? I believe they are. We all share a part of our lives with each other. Be it our passion for gaming, our good news or bad and even some of us our personal or home lives. This community or ones like it define friendship as it should be. You meet people with common interests, you share all or part of your lives with them, they accept you for who you are, you feel welcomed and wanted, you may disagree but work it out and finally, these people can change your whole day.
If this does not define "real life" friends or friendships then you have missed the entire point of online communities such as 2old2play or Xbox Live and I pity your loss.
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
The definition of friend in itself is flawed and too vague. The words likes and acquaintance too blase. It should read something more like:
A person whom one shares a common interest or passion.
A person with whom you can share your life.
A person whom accepts you as you are.
A person whom makes you feel wanted or needed in this world.
A person you can disagree with but agree to disagree and still care about each other.
A person whom can change your day and mood by just hearing their voice.
The definition could be endless.
Being not only a female gamer, but also a single parent, these outlets have given me something that I cannot obtain in "real life". With limited time away from my house and limited money, meeting people is not easy. "Real life" friends are limited to the people I work with. At that, once you leave a job, keeping up with those people becomes difficult. Meeting people in the "real world" is hard. Finding people who enjoy gaming as much as you do or meeting someone of the opposite sex and not having the physical aspect fall into play.
The definition of friend does not state that you have had to meet the person in a grocery store, bar, at your son's school or actually have had physical contact. Because you have met a person via the internet or Xbox Live are they less of a friend? I answer that question with a resounding NO. My belief is that friendships made in this setting can even be stronger than "real life" friendships. It would be so easy to terminate a friendship, over something small, in this setting. Someone makes you angry, you go to your friends list and "click", friend removed. No big deal, you've never met the person, who cares how they feel about it. Whereas with "real life" friends, you've seen them and have spent physical time with them. Instead I choose to work harder at understanding what caused the problem and dissolve it with that person and continue the friendship. Being a female, the friendships I make with male gamers is based on who I am and not how I look. These things just don't take place that often in the "real world".
To my relief communities like ours exist. A place where we all share the love of gaming and some of us, our lives.
When a member became an uncle recently he called to share his news. The phone calls at night from various members when I'm not signed on asking "Phreak, you getting on? We are playing Cat and Mouse right now." Or New Year's Eve when I was not able to get online, a phone call from a member wishing me a happy New Year and asking where I was while having me on speaker phone so everyone in the pregame lobby could hear me. The anticipation of a Charity Lan Party so that we can all meet and play together and enjoy each others company. Me making a call to a member who had not been himself lately online and making sure he was alright and everything was ok. When I enter a pregame lobby and I'm greeted like Norm walking into Cheers.
Are these "real life" friendships? I believe they are. We all share a part of our lives with each other. Be it our passion for gaming, our good news or bad and even some of us our personal or home lives. This community or ones like it define friendship as it should be. You meet people with common interests, you share all or part of your lives with them, they accept you for who you are, you feel welcomed and wanted, you may disagree but work it out and finally, these people can change your whole day.
If this does not define "real life" friends or friendships then you have missed the entire point of online communities such as 2old2play or Xbox Live and I pity your loss.
