GTA 5. So much right. So much wrong

Oh Rockstar, how you task me. I chase you not 'round Perditions flames, but surely 'til my online character can retain his hat whilst driving - as his story-mode brethren do. I shall chase you not past the moons of Nibia, but through the bogs of the Zancudo River. Though my pants may gleam in their mud-soaked sodden state, I shall persist 'til we may own more than one garage or home. The Antares Maelstrom shall be eclipsed in my ire 'til the day I own a Weazel News van and dispatch within upon my missions. Though the Grand Senora Desert may fill with rusted premium cars, I shall buy them not as you have chosen to constantly beggar me, pursuing missions that drain the bank and offer little in return. In short, you have made a nice place to visit, but I sure as hell don't wanna live there