Babies are hazardous for your health

Yes they are. Sleep depravation will kill ya in the end. Its not the babys fault though. I have a 7-month old boy and I couldnt have asked for an easier wee guy. Hes very easy going and placid by nature. Usually he sleep all night, 10pm to 7am. Incredible, I know. So why, I hear you ask, is he bad for my health?

There was a time when, on occasion, during the week I would game into the early hours. Perhaps I had a tough bit on Halo or a few balvarine to chop up on Fable, whatever, time would escape and before I knew it the clock said 2, 3 or even 4am. No big deal. I would get a good kip and head to work in the morning only slightly bleary. Things have changed. Picture this recently:

Oops, 2am. Didnt mean to stay up so late. Engrossed in COD2. Shuffle off to bed. Little man sound asleep. Good stuff. Wife asleep. Good Stuff. Me asleep, really good stuff.

2:30am sound of baby crying through the monitor. Leave him for a minute. No good, still crying. Struggle out of bed since Im still relatively awake and wife in deep sleep. Grope for slippers in the dark. Turn off baby monitor. wander over to babys room.

Baby gone back to sleep already.

OK, back to bed.

3:15am baby crying. Wife in deep sleep Im relatively awake. Up I get. Up baby gets. Up wind comes. Baby goes back to sleep. Yay. Back to bed 3:30 am.

4:55am baby crying. Again. Too tired to get up. Must get up. Baby goes over again before I get my slippers on. Hear him fart through baby monitor. Back to bed.

6am Baby awake and googooing. Starts to cry after a while. Get up and bring him to our bed. Half an our of play and wishing he would go to sleep again before realising he is up for the day. Wife gets up to feed him and get him ready. I snooze for half an hour before alarm goes off. Time for work.

Never operate machinery whilst too tired. Im sure your aware of the warnings. I drive to work. I realise I probably shouldnt, feeling slightly light headed. I scrape the car against a wall while parking. I swear profusely with much gnashing of teath. Blood pressure rising. Heart attack due in a few years if I keep this up. I pretend to work all day while perfecting the art of sleeping with eyes open.

I swear he waited until I was most vulnerable before deciding to have one a his bad nights!