FreeRadikal's blog

Yes folks after thinking about for about ten years, I decided this weekend to shave my arm pits. For various reasons, my wife told me not to shave my legs. It created too much friction in our relationship when it started to grow back. I’m feeling good about my smooth pits; I’m not feeling good about the menthol shaving gel I accidently grabbed when they were out of my mainstay. It’s kind of like sticking your entire head in a vat of Vicks Vapo Rub; it’s kind of freaking me out.  However, I am a 'waste not want not' trooper and I’m gonna power Zen through it.

I wish Chobani had a General Chang’s Chicken flavored yogurt, where’s my savory breakfast Chinese fusion?

Times when you know you should run like mad:

What I call riding the fat walrus, most people call eating a foot long one pound brat…maybe it’s better to call it sucking down the fat gray mole…I don’t mean to misconstrue but I also feel a tiny bit naughty…or maybe its nutty.

Sometimes I think of road rally racing like cross dressing…it hurts my brain as to why I came up with this…

Why do aliens always pick on nerds? You would think the universe would give them a break.

I think a Cadillac Escalade with a cattle catcher is a land shark.

I wonder if I was in Hell for all eternity and my punishment was to lick the nostrils of a hippo, I think after about 1,000 years it would be less and less punishing but never truly enjoying it kind of like an asymptotic punishment.

Speaking of substance abuse, I really abused a stash of Starbursts today.

I’m still trying to figure out how to teabag in Forza.

Have you really lived? Have you licked an iguana? Have you felt its eye twitch under your tongue? Have you ridden the white tiger and by white tiger I mean eaten the 100% pure white chocolate from the Wal-Mart on Highway 6? Have you peed on the floor? Have you jumped in the air and landed on your knees? Have you melted a Toblerone with your butt while sky diving over the Atlantic Ocean?

Have you filled each cell of excel manually with the letter r?

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven

HAD I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

William Butler Yeats