1. You're so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.
2. If ugliness were bricks, you would be the Great Wall Of China.
3. You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
4. If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.
5. You were so ugly at birth, your parents named you Shit Happens.
6. You're so ugly, your mate won't have to worry about birth control... your face will do just fine.

1. You're so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.
2. If ugliness were bricks, you would be the Great Wall Of China.
3. You're so ugly, you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
4. If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.
5. You were so ugly at birth, your parents named you Shit Happens.
6. You're so ugly, your mate won't have to worry about birth control... your face will do just fine.

The Shit List

1. GHOST SHIT.          You know you've shitted.
                        There's shit on the toilet paper, but none
                        in the toilet.

2. TEFLON-COATED SHIT.  Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you
                        don't even feel it. No trace of shit on the
                        paper. You have to look in the toilet to make
                        sure you did something.

3. GOOEY-SHIT.          This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe
                        your arse 12 times and it's still not clean.

The Shit List

1. GHOST SHIT.          You know you've shitted.
                        There's shit on the toilet paper, but none
                        in the toilet.

2. TEFLON-COATED SHIT.  Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you
                        don't even feel it. No trace of shit on the
                        paper. You have to look in the toilet to make
                        sure you did something.

3. GOOEY-SHIT.          This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe
                        your arse 12 times and it's still not clean.