Cerberus4417's blog

Meredith: You know I once dated a couple guys from Cornell. They were really nice. They gave me a ride home.

Andy: I seriously doubt anyone from Cornell dated you.

Creed: It's pronounced colonel and it's the highest rank in the military.

Andy: It's pronounced Cor-nell! It's the highest rank in the Ivy League!

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Michael Scott: If you guys insist on having your own private little love fest--

Jim Halpert: We do.

Michael Scott: --that none of us can be a part of--

Pam Beesly: You can't be apart of our relationship, Michael.

Michael Scott: --THEN, we are going to have our own private Valentine's day party.

Jim Halpert: That sounds fun.

Michael Scott: So suck it.

Michael Scott: If you guys insist on having your own private little love fest--

Jim Halpert: We do.

Michael Scott: --that none of us can be a part of--

Pam Beesly: You can't be apart of our relationship, Michael.

Michael Scott: --THEN, we are going to have our own private Valentine's day party.

Jim Halpert: That sounds fun.

Michael Scott: So suck it.

Pam Beesly: Okay, well, sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like, what it means instead of what it is.

Dwight Schrute: You mean... like a ham?

Pam Beesly: [pause] No, not like a ham. It's about doing something so that the person knows that you really care about her. That you remember her--

Dwight Schrute: Okay shut up. I know exactly what to do.

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Pam Beesly: Okay, well, sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like, what it means instead of what it is.

Dwight Schrute: You mean... like a ham?

Pam Beesly: [pause] No, not like a ham. It's about doing something so that the person knows that you really care about her. That you remember her--

Dwight Schrute: Okay shut up. I know exactly what to do.

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Rose: Ok. You didn't maintain a hundred beats per minute. And the ambulance didn't arrive because no body called 911. So you lost 'em.

Dwight Schrute: Ok. He's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose?

Rose: I have no idea.

Phyllis: We bury him.

Dwight Schrute: Wrong. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one we only have minutes to harvest.

Creed: He has no wallet, I checked.

Rose: Ok. You didn't maintain a hundred beats per minute. And the ambulance didn't arrive because no body called 911. So you lost 'em.

Dwight Schrute: Ok. He's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose?

Rose: I have no idea.

Phyllis: We bury him.

Dwight Schrute: Wrong. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one we only have minutes to harvest.

Creed: He has no wallet, I checked.

Michael Scott: You said you were leaving and you made liars out of all of us.

Toby: I did leave.

Michael Scott: Yes. You did. And then you came back. Which makes you the biggest liar of the history.

Toby: I don't see it that way.

Michael Scott: You wanna hear a lie?

Toby: What?

Michael Scott: I... think you're great. You're my best friend.

Michael Scott: You said you were leaving and you made liars out of all of us.

Toby: I did leave.

Michael Scott: Yes. You did. And then you came back. Which makes you the biggest liar of the history.

Toby: I don't see it that way.

Michael Scott: You wanna hear a lie?

Toby: What?

Michael Scott: I... think you're great. You're my best friend.

Michael Scott: That? In the conference room? We were joshin' around, the two of us. And he said, "did I stutter?" And I said, "wu-wu-wu-wu-whhhat dawg?" It was joking, Toby, alright?

Toby: He didn't seem like he was joking.

Michael Scott: Well you don't get it. Because Stanley is a beautiful, sassy, powerful black man and you're... you. If you had any friends, you would understand. Friends joke with one another. "Hey, um, you're poor." "Well hey, your mom is dead." That's what friends do. It's... you're so white.