When I think of Dark Energy I think of the old guy at the bar who never talks to anyone and drinks dollar domestic taps all night long. When I think about the unbalanced equation of astronomical calculations I think of a neglected pool table with ripped green felt, with alcoholic beverage stains, with two nine balls and with no number 3 ball. When I think of quantum mechanics and alternate universes I think of three guys hitting on the same girl two minutes past last call, one minute before last call and outside of the bar fighting with each other in some other entangl
I am passionless about passion fruit…even more so less excited about what I did to my mouth this morning. Yes friends, great and small, I ate some Chobani 2% Passion Fruit Greek Style yogurt. I am a big big fan of Chobani, but I am in no way a fan of their passion fruit variety with seeds mind you. You know when you dive into something and you eat it faster because you don’t like it and you think by eating it faster you will stave off nausea? Well it worked until I crunched into the seeds…bahhh! I just don’t understand why Chobani?!?
Speaking of hell, why are there only 10 circles? Maybe the 11th circle of hell, the place where cheese goes to die and grow delicious mold for eternity was too much for a 14th century Italian pagan mind to grasp: “Sono tormentato dall'inferno del formaggio dei diavoli!”
All a padre had to do was show a slice of cheddar in the form of a cross or maybe a bowl of melted holy cheese (kind of a fondue of the sacrament) to a pagan and bam! Headcheese everywhere!
See you next year or the next dimensional portal or through the gateway of eternal light and grape Kool-Aid we entrust the neurons to be firing on all cylinders this weekend of new beginnings and poor judgment. What happened last year stays in last year unless you’re going to prison…like tax evasion…I thought tax evasion was called buying things at garage sales.
