BalekFekete's blog

I was reading today on the Blackberry (yeah, during the morning constitutional...) that auto manufacturers are tacking on even more incentives to try and drum up business. The latest, from GM and Ford, is the 'job insurance policy' where they'll cover up to a year's worth of payments if you lose your job. Well, not that I'd ever buy new - we all know how fast cars lose value that first, oh SECOND off the lot - but it got me thinking on my car. I'm driving a 2001 Chrysler Concorde with 110k miles. Still runs fine without any major hiccups.

Situation Normal - All Fucked Up. That seems to be the status of my life right now. Normal is so relative now. What I would give for a 'normal' day now...a day that'd be called normal say 6 months ago. Back when I could wake up, enjoy time with my family without anything hanging over my head. But the events of the past dozen days has turned my life so upside down it's not recognizable anymore. I can't help but feel adrift, lost in waves of emotions that I can't comprehend and thoughts that don't make sense even in the worst of times.

Situation Normal - All Fucked Up. That seems to be the status of my life right now. Normal is so relative now. What I would give for a 'normal' day now...a day that'd be called normal say 6 months ago. Back when I could wake up, enjoy time with my family without anything hanging over my head. But the events of the past dozen days has turned my life so upside down it's not recognizable anymore. I can't help but feel adrift, lost in waves of emotions that I can't comprehend and thoughts that don't make sense even in the worst of times.

When something like what I'm going through happens, diversions are an absolute necessity. My wife and kids are absolute magic for me right now, keeping me sane. But the weight I am putting on them is starting to show, especially in my wife, and it's killing me to see it. So I'm looking for anything, looking in everything, for something to get my mind off the current state of affairs and bring my mood up even a small notch - if not for me, then for them. Well, fortunately just before the shit hit the fan, I found one that's been working pretty well...

When something like what I'm going through happens, diversions are an absolute necessity. My wife and kids are absolute magic for me right now, keeping me sane. But the weight I am putting on them is starting to show, especially in my wife, and it's killing me to see it. So I'm looking for anything, looking in everything, for something to get my mind off the current state of affairs and bring my mood up even a small notch - if not for me, then for them. Well, fortunately just before the shit hit the fan, I found one that's been working pretty well...

Those are the emotions that have been dominating my life since earlier this week, and hit full force when my mother attempted to take her own life on Wednesday.

Those are the emotions that have been dominating my life since earlier this week, and hit full force when my mother attempted to take her own life on Wednesday.

 Yeah...I got nothing today. 

 Yeah...I got nothing today. 

BADASS!