So I bought the generic oatmeal shaving gel from Target, it’s kind of like smearing amaretto scented marshmallow fluff all over your face. I’m surprise Disaronno hasn’t entered this market with a partnership with Aveda. It could spark a new revolution in hair and shave products for men and women. Axe could partnership with Jack Daniels with a new bourbon body spray, I’m sure that would be a big winner at the office! Captain Morgan and Old Spice could not only put a little captain in you but also have you smelling like a real pirate with their Take No Prisoners Body Wash.
Koi are here! Sounds like something out of the Apocrypha.
Get Boxed. This can mean so many things. I think it pertains to coming terms with one’s own death by spending some time in a coffin. I prefer satin sheets for the death romp slip and slide.
I put too much raspberry lemonade flavored crystal light in my glass and I am too lazy to go and dilute it at the water cooler.
I like hearing what I want to hear, that’s why I select my own queue on Netflix. However when it comes to people speaking to me, I already know what I want to know, if they tell me just what I want to hear I figure I might as well talk to myself. It seems to me that it probably is another form of control. You ask a candidate for public office: “How are you going to fix the major social issues in this country?” Then they reply: “Here, have a cookie.” What no milk? Where’s my cable TV? I feel like when you talk to your parents, they will always see you as a child.
Forsaken like chocolate covered bacon is the enlightenment that everyone is in an all-out sprint to the finish line of who is right. Do we all have to be right? My best moments of discovery happen right after I am angled 90 degrees from the right answer. You ask me, is it truly forsaken? I answer: do you wake up every morning thinking “I have to be right today”? Well, everyone else has to be right! You jump out of bed wielding your giant blood soaked chainsaw of logic with bits of other peoples arguments still wedged in its mechanisms.
So I went to the polling places today only to get told I was at the wrong polling place due to redistricting, apparently I didn’t get the memo. I felt a little like the politicians were lining up in front of me, not to tell me that they were ready to serve the republic but to buy time to dance on my grave. Who knows when I will die but I am sure the government will have a hand in it maybe even a foot or an elbow as well.
In honor and memory of my Aunt, who passed away last Saturday, I write today.
She was a warrior of this earth, fighting chronic illness for the majority of her life. She fought for her kids, she fought as a staunch liberal, and she fought for herself. She was a gifted MD. She loved flamboyant clothing. She loved her dogs and her family. She was kind and generous. I admire her and feel blessed to have her as my Aunt.