Agonizing_Gas's blog

Just wanted to jot down a couple ideas that I had for the blog for after I get off work.  I've found that I forget sometimes, so I thought I'd take a moment to make a reminder for myself so that I can further amuse my faithful following. ;)

The return of Timmy Smith, after his long vacation from the all-seeing eye of the press.  What has he been up to?  What business venture has he undertaken?  How did his time at the state mental facility treat him?  Is he rehabilitated?  Will I add him to my friends list?

2old2play was created, in short, to avoid the Timmy's of the world, and to find friends online to game with in an adult setting. Making my way through daily life though, I realize that it isn't just XBL that we could use a break from. How do I bring 2o2p off the net and into "real life" and avoid all the ass clowns out there?

There is a post that tait started in regards to sexism in blog readers.  Not a shocking post (or response from readers), but true enough considering the audience.  I'd be interested to know the guy to girl ratio here on 2o2p, but we can rest assured that the vast majority of the site is male and that we only have a handful of active female bloggers, and a few more on the site that are active gamers but not bloggers.  Speaking of active females, has anyone seen Buffy lately?  I haven't

... kinda like Triple Kill, only less glorious. Three in a day though is pretty good for me.

Just wanted to give the back story on my near death experience that I mentioned in the Dante's inferno and Captain Kirk post. I'll try to make it short, as I tend to be a bit long winded when it comes to story telling. Must be where I got the name Gas.

After several months of being separated, and two months of living in CA (while she stayed behind in OK), my wife decided that she does want to persue a divorce.  It was the conclusion that I have suspected for a while, but it still wasn't fun to have verbalized and made real.  On the other hand, it is good to have some direction at long last, no more waiting and no more questions.  Just time to move on.

I'd like to start by saying that I have an incredible fear of death. Not terrbily surprising or noteworthy, but it's something that may be an issue for me because of a near death experience I had a few years ago (which I'll talk about in a different blog post in the near future). Having sensed the frailty of life, I think that death may cross my mind a little more than for the average person. I'm in no way suicidal, it's just that I have a hard time picturing the world, and my life in particular, without me in it. Is there an afterlife? Heaven and hell? Reincarnation?

No, wait. Im still 30. Im just being treated like I am 12 again. With the other recent events in my personal life (see previous posts if youre dying to know) putting me in a bad spot, I moved in with my parents last week. Nothing is a better reminder of how great your life and freedom are even when you are at your lowest low than when you move in back in with your parents. I never thought I would, but here I am. Try to contain your jealousy as I describe my gaming woes.

Id call it home, but it felt less and less like it as time slid by. Last week I moved from OK to the SF Bay Area in CA. A further step in the seperation/divorce process I suppose. All in all, after my last post, things went steadily down hill. Except for the last day or two and the conversations I had with my wife. But first, the bad news. Then the slightly-better-but-still-not-exactly-good news.

So, the divorce is happening at a rapid pace. Its strange because when youve never done something, and never thought you would, a process can become surreal. I know its real, all too real. The fact of the matter is that I love the woman that was once my wife. Is the relationship salvageable? No. Do I have delusions of patching things up and giving it another go? Of course not. However things got as bad as they are, theres no hope. And no hope is a sad thing to admit. It hurts to look at pictures of our first year together and see that happiness we had.

Can you guess which one is Bliznot?

Check them out.

But I went to check out the games. Really.

Password: 2o2p